How I found a UX job in Sydney and moved overseas (Part 2)

A few years ago, I wrote an article about moving overseas as a UX designer. I wanted to follow that up and talk about the longer term life of living overseas and what that’s all about.

What are the first few weeks like? How long does it take to feel settled in? What happens if you decide to stay for longer? What happens if you decide to move back home?

If you’re still not sure about making the move you’re thinking of, read on. I’ll tell you how my working holiday here in Australia evolved into being my long term home. And some of the plot twists along the way.

What are the first few weeks like?

Exciting and tough at the same time. I remember thinking on my first day, “Well, only 364 more days to go before the challenge is completed and I can go home.”

For the first few days I felt homesick. I felt alone. I wondered if all the effort I put into making this move — was it all for nothing?

What I realised about myself was that, even though I had experience travelling solo, it was taxing for me. It didn’t come naturally. My brain doesn’t enjoy massive changes.

I stuck with my choice though. I found a gym, sorted out my bank, tax file number, phone, all that stuff. Little by little I got more comfortable. The gym made a big difference for me. Getting back to my habits and routines that I used to have in Toronto made everything better. Sort of like adding a slice of home back into my life.

A big turning point was finding a group of friends. I joined beach volleyball and was invited to a few Christmas parties. I met a lot of fellow expats. I noticed that when I was with people, even though I just met them, I felt a lot more myself. The heavy feeling of homesickness started to lift.

After my first 2 or 3 weeks of staying in different AirBnBs, I decided to look for an apartment in Manly, NSW. It’s a small, beachy town in Sydney, 20 minutes away from the city centre by ferry.

Using a site called Flatmate Finder, I was able to find a room in a 2 bedroom apartment, sharing with an Australian girl (who became a close friend as well). It made such a difference to have a stable place (and awesome flatmate), rather than worrying about moving myself every 10 days or so.

By the end of 6 months, I had a handful of friends that I was getting closer with. I could call on them and make plans, play sports, grab dinner, go out, etc.

By 9 months, the homesickness had worn off completely and I felt at home. It took me a while but I got there! I had an apartment, solid group of friends, a routine, new hobbies and a great group of coworkers to share the work day with.

I think there’s a ‘U’ graph to this. At first, you’re really excited and happy to move to a new place. As you’re hit with homesickness and the reality of leaving your previous life behind, you experience the dip of the ‘U’. But, over time, your level of comfort and happiness returns to normal (moving upward, back to the top of the ‘U’). This ‘U’ can take place over a long period of time—1, 2 or even 3 years.

I’d say it takes a good amount of time to properly assess whether you made the right decision. Stick with it! It takes a while to get settled and build your new life. It’s a hard thing to do. It’s part of the challenge. And it’s worth it, I promise.

Eventually, the novelty fades. What then?

I think no place in the world is perfect. When the initial excitement fades, you might start to think the grass is greener back home. But no matter where you move to, it’s up to you to find what’s great about that place and appreciate it.

What I learned was that it’s never the place that is the prison, it’s your attitude.

I struggled a lot with thinking the grass was greener in Toronto. I missed my friends. I realised that living life with only one foot in the door is a pretty empty way to go about it. A friend told me, “While you’re here, you’re Australian.” That stuck with me.

Commit to where ever you are right now in your life, rather than deferring to the future, when you think you’ll move back home or pursue your next working holiday. Make life right now meaningful. If you don’t, well, what’s the point?

When do you know it’s time to move back?

I was thinking about moving back home after about 18 months in Australia. It was March 15, 2020, right around when covid started to hit.

I was on the fence. I booked a flight but it all felt wrong, so I cancelled it. I felt incredibly anxious. How could I possibly make such a big decision on short notice? I just didn’t feel ready to leave.

Eventually the decision was made for me by external factors. My job security was in question, so I left.

The moment I could see the ground in Canada, covered in snow, I thought to myself “Crap. What did I just do?” After about a month in Toronto, I realised I wanted to go back to Sydney.

Being locked out of Australia for the next 2 years was probably one of the most difficult times in my life. I was hard on myself for making a big decision so quickly and in reaction to fear and anxiety.

I learned that it’s impossible to logic your way into a decision. Big life decisions like moving countries need to be made with your heart, not your head. Never let the logic part of your brain drive. It should be used to gather data and be strategic, but ultimately, make big life decisions with your heart. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

If I could go back, I’d be a lot kinder to myself. Moving back to Canada, as difficult as it was at that time (in lockdown!), helped me close the book on Toronto and allowed me to settle fully in Australia long term.

How do you know if the place is a long term home?

For me, I initially came to Australia on what was supposed to be a one year working holiday. I was planning on returning to Toronto after the holiday was over.

I think you check in with yourself as you go. If you’ve put a lot of effort into moving countries, it might make sense to stick around and keep exploring. If you’re happy and things are moving in the right direction, sign up for some more time.

So many people I speak to here in Sydney have a similar experience: “I was supposed to stay for a year. 8 years later, here we are!”

What are the tradeoffs of this lifestyle?

With Australia, you get great weather, amazing lifestyle, good food, coffee, a really fun, active life and lots of great people.

The challenge is being far away from where you grew up—and pretty much everywhere else. It usually requires a long flight (or flights) to visit friends and family back home, so you might see them less often.

I take a trip back to Canada once a year. Heading home for a visit is one of the most fun things you can do in my opinion; it’s always a very special time.

When you’re between trips, video calls, both scheduled and impromptu, can work wonders to help you stay in touch and get some family time.

A branch off of the main path

I hope this helps shed some light on what moving and living overseas is like. For any questions I’ve missed, you can comment or drop me a message on LinkedIn.