That is some awesome bit of writing. I love your candor. It provoked me to want to respond.
I am not agnostic nor an atheist. I believe science is worthy of an ear, but it is no panacea for the gaping hole inside of you that you described; for the feeling that something’s missing. Moreover, I would like for you to know that it is possible for you to experience what you said,
“ I think it would be nice to believe in all that, but a community, a sense of unity, a support system where I can go to help and be helped?”
I know this because I found it. God is real! His love is real. His presence is real. He comforts, disciplines, teaches, guides, provides, heals, strengthens and encourages in tangible ways. In fact, he is so much more than that. He is totally awesome! He is not a figment of my imagination. He is! He is my joy, my life; my every breath. He is good. For this reason, I would wish for everyone to know him. Because he can truly fill that void, like no one or nothing else can.
In fact, Blaise Pascal put it this way:
“What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace?
This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself”
[This is from page 75 of Blaise Pascal’s Pensees (New York; Penguin Books, 1966).]
The reason why I quoted him is because I am convinced that we are not here by chance. God had purpose for creating the whole universe — us. We were created for him!
It is a shame, however, that many choose to resist the good news that is offered by sincere and fallible people. In fact, it is increasingly being resisted, and I am convinced that a time will come when the whole concept of believing in God will become an anathema to the majority of people.
If you want to know more, I discuss all that I have described in much more detail in my various blogs. In fact, let me encourage you to start with this one — part one of four:
Let me know what you honestly think. I would love to hear from you.