How to improve your network, one step at a time

I have lived in different cities, travel regularly and have always had demanding jobs. This has given me an opportunity to meet lots of great people but unfortunately, it is also the reason why I have let many contacts slip in the past.

Because I want to have a strong and valuable network of people I enjoy spending time with, I have invested some time to read up on the topic, think about what to maintain or improve and have incorporated the things I found useful. For those of you that would like to do the same, I have put together three strategies I have been employing over the last years. I also added some references if you want to dig deeper.

A word of caution: It will cost you time and effort, but at least for me, the experience is worth it.

Strategy 1: Help the people around you.

The quote “When you meet people, you should be asking yourself, ‘How can I help the other person?’”, although of unclear origin (Adam Grant attributes it to Guy Kawasaki), is very fitting for this point. Do not approach networking as a tool for yourself. Rather, see it as a collaborative effort. Genuinely wanting to help the people around you has helped many people’s careers according to their own and others accounts. Often, small acts can go a long way: All that is necessary to help two people can be to put them in touch with each other. I have met some of my closest friends as well as the people that assist me with my entrepreneurial journey through others. And if helping the person requires using your network, do not be afraid. As Keith Ferrazzi puts it and I have experienced myself, “relationships are […] like muscles — the more you work them, the stronger they become”.

If you still believe helping others will not improve your network or fear being exploited by others (you should still beware of freeloaders), there is a book full of anecdotal as well as scientific evidence: Give and Take by Adam Grant (link below).

Strategy 2: Talk to strangers.

This is often given advice, but it can’t be repeated enough. You want to build your network, so you have to be comfortable with meeting new people. The best way to build that comfort is to “just do it”. Whether it is saying “Hi” to a random person in public, suggesting a coffee with someone you are connected with but have not met personally or socializing at an event where you barely know anyone (you are usually not alone). Either you will make a new connection or you will learn how to improve your skills along the way. I have had long and interesting conversations with random strangers in the past and found there is always something you can learn from another person. Along the way, it will also make you appreciate other people’s efforts more.

You can find the best motivation to do this by getting your first results, but if you’re sitting in the office hoping to get inspired, you will find some motivating talks at the end of this post.

Strategy 3: Host!

I have always enjoyed being invited to dinner parties, but rarely felt like hosting one myself. At some point, however, I realized that they have some benefits you just can’t beat: They are a lot more personal than heading out for dinner, giving you a unique opportunity to spend time with good friends and getting to know people better while creating lasting memories to look back to. Events like this do not have to be limited to New Years Eve. Additionally, it is giving other people the opportunity to connect in a comfortable atmosphere. Still not convinced? Look at it from an efficiency standpoint: Instead of going to five dinners, you can do just as well in one. Just figure out a way not to be the cook all evening.

Do not worry about your apartment’s size, looks or tight finances: I have first tried this in my student years and everyone attending remembers the parties as great evenings nevertheless. Keith Ferrazzi has a simple principle for it: “Good food. Good people. Lots of wine. Good conversation.”

Finally: Maintain

There are more possibilities, but these three are easy to explain and straightforward to try. Once you feel you need more, feel free to dig deeper into one of the resources mentioned below or somewhere else.

And remember that building connections is one side of the coin, maintaining them is the other. Every family has a person that keeps in touch with all siblings. Being a little more of this person does not have to take much time. If you do not have time to meet, calling someone once in a while, giving them an intro to somebody or just pinging the person every now and again with an article all show that you care. I wanted to be more like that, but it took me a long time to achieve it.

What helped me, as it is for many productivity topics, was to stop solely relying on my memory and use an aid instead. For this reason, I built ReeContact. Maybe you are good at this already, maybe you figured another way to assist your memory. If not, feel free to give it a try.

Resources

Here you have a list of resources I found helpful and that I will update every now and then:

• More content on the topic of how helping others drives your own success (bolstered with anecdotal as well as scientific evidence): Give and Take by Adam Grant.
• Some inspiring presentations about talking to strangers: Celeste Headlee and Malavika Varadan. That is enough, go out already.
• Impressive book a broad array of networking topics (among them talking to strangers, helping people around you, hosting dinners, etc.): Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.

This post originally appeared on the ReeContact Blog. Check back to find new content regularly!