The Double Dragon Movie is Terrible — So Go Enjoy
Is Double Dragon in the midst of a resurgence or what? First you had Double Dragon Gaiden: Rise of the Dragons, which has seen mostly positive reviews and features plenty of replayability with unlockable characters; and then there’s the Double Dragon Collection, releasing this November with a slew of classic favorites, including my personal one, Super Double Dragon, as well as Double Dragon Advance.
So it’s about this time I should talk about the 1994 Double Dragon film, which is terrible…and worth watching.
Now, I’m a purveyor of cheesy films. I will seriously go out of my way to watch them when I get the chance. I once saw Ice Pirates in a crowded theater get mocked to the middle of nowhere, yet still enjoyed every bit of it. So take my preference for what you will, Double Dragon may be a nightmare to you.
But then again…maybe it’ll hit the 90s nostalgia heart. It’s that silly and ridiculous.
The movie stars a young Mark Dacascos (well before John Wick 3: Chapter 3 — Parabellum) and Scott Wolf (from…Party of Five?) as the legendary brothers, Jimmy and Billy Lee, as they attempt to protect a sacred medallion from a shadowy figure known as Koga Shuko, portrayed by none other than Terminator 2: Judgment Day’s own Robert Patrick. Oh, and did we mention he could transform into a shadowy figure at any time?
Alyssa Milano’s also here with short blonde hair, and for some reason George Hamilton and Vanna White are TV reporters. Not to mention that Abobo has become a comical abomination that rivals the Goombas from the Super Mario Bros. films. (Al Leong also pops up as a necessary henchman, natch.)
The movie was nuts. There was reportedly problems filming on set; the script is ridiculous and doesn’t closely follow the game that much; and the special effects are wild, to say the least. And yet…this movie is extremely watchable. Provided that you take it with a cheesy grain of salt. Try to watch it in the same sense as a terrific action movie like True Lies and you’ll feel awful.
That said, it’s still surprisingly fun for a cheesy 90s film, along the lines of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlesfilms and even Surf Ninjas. (It’s not every day that Leslie Nielsen pops up as a ninja warlord. “I’m okay!”) If you accept it for the stupid ridiculousness that it is, you’ll have a good time.
And Robert Patrick seemed to like it as well. Though he wasn’t too crazy about how it “didn’t work that well” (it was a box office bomb), he did note that “ it was a fairly liberating experience to be funny and try to be menacing at the same time. I am proud of my performance. It’s a pretty extreme performance.” Gotta love Robert Patrick.
It’s available on digital for a cheap price (like ten bucks?), and there’s a Rifftrax version as well that’s filled with great jokes. But if you really want to go all out, hunt down the MVD-produced Blu-Ray. Not only does it have excellent quality (for what it is), but there’s also a running commentary with director James Yukich. And a mini-poster to put on your wall! (Mine’s in the garage.)
Just watch the trailer and indulge. You’ll thank me later. (Or hate me.)
Have a good weekend, everyone!
