Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

I learn everything I can and I write down everything I see. Golly says if I want to be a writer then I should quit snooping on people like a creep and actually enroll in a creative writing or journalism course since I’m in college now. I beg to differ, Golly. Everything I need to know I observe through a small pair of metal binoculars from uncomfortably close distances. And for your information, all my years of training and subsequent ostracism are paying off, for I am now employed by my university as a spy — a COVID operative. In…

Photo by Norali Emilio on Unsplash

These inane accusations need to stop at once. Yes, we enforce a dress code at our nightclub, the Blues Barricade, but the suggestion that it’s somehow discriminatory against Charlie Chaplin impersonators, or worse — overtly so — is absurd. For shame! Our establishment celebrates diversity and is in no way trying to exclude any patron from entering, white-faced performing art mute or otherwise. The reality is, we think Chaplin impersonators make delightful entertainers and respect anyone who would devote their life paying homage to a professional hobo.

Of course everyone in the Twitter-verse jumped on our “no cane” policy. So…

Rob Gregory

Rob is a humor/copywriter based in Chicago. His work can be found on The Big Jewel, Slackjaw and the New Yorker, if you count the caption contest.

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