If it’s socially egregious to suggest that females are slaves to their hormones, then shouldn’t the same expectation apply to males?

I made a big dietary lifestyle change four years ago in an effort to be more healthy. After testing prevailing theories and monitoring endless biomarkers and micronutrient levels I lost fifty plus pounds and improved every measurable marker immensely but one stood out. At 46 years old, my testosterone level rose to was that of a virile 19-year-old. After quickly and proudly posting these results to social media it occurred to me that although my blood showed a hormone historically associated with aggression, I had become a pacifist.

This was confusing to me. I believed that testosterone was directly associated…


In our weakest moments, we reveal truths about ourselves we’d prefer to hide. Maybe what we ought to be doing is to not hide them but uncover them, own them, change them.

In case you were in a beautiful, silent place last week, perhaps in nature with no wi-fi, let’s catch up. In front of national news media, Congressman Ted Yoho called Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a “fucking bitch”. Rep. AOC chose not to respond formally and instead choose to brush it off through social media tweeting, “But hey, ‘b*tches’ get stuff done.” Rep Yoho addressed the incident publicly, and instead of apologizing, he doubled down. Without actually saying Ocasio-Cortez’s name, Rep. Yoho refused to “apologize for my passion, or for loving my God, my family, and my country.” …


When we own our true nature through strength and vulnerability, we are defining what masculinity is.

The Bromance Phenomenon

When I met my brother in law for the first time, we shook hands firmly as we exchanged affirmative expressions, eye-to-eye study, and a murmured “good to meet you.” He’s a military man from the United States and I’m a writer from Canada. I didn’t meet him when he married my sister because I had only discovered that my sister existed months before, which I feel I should explain.

After shipping a swab of spit to ancestry.com, I was notified that my DNA suggested I had first and second cousins who had also sent in their spit. A woman reached…


Let’s take into consideration the societal and environmental influences in which participants are growing.

Never to be outdone, my father once quipped “it’s well known that girls mature faster than boys, but we catch up and pass them pretty quickly.” He thinks he’s hilarious. He’s accepted, albeit reluctantly, the common trope that “girls mature faster than boys,” which has over the years been backed up by neuroscience through brain imaging and observational studies. Aside from the fact that these studies confirm a well-known and accepted bias they haven’t accounted for one confounding variable: neuroplasticity.

The Buddha said that our minds create the world around us to which Gabor Mate adds “but first our world…


My editor called me out for how I wrote about the women in my book. Here’s how I handled it.

I never realized the toxic way I thought and wrote about women — until my book editor called me out for it. She told me, “If I have to read the way you describe women one more time, I’m not going to edit this fucking book.” I was speechless.

I’m going to share my journey with you since she called me out, but to get the full picture, we have to go back to the beginning and see where my mindset about women was formed.

The book I was writing was never meant to be a book. It was meant…


Alarming Aroma at Thirty-Thousand-Feet

There exists endless tropes about negotiating airplane restrooms as they serve as much comedic novelty as they do their designed purpose. Changing a baby’s diapers in an airplane restroom brings with it a performance worthy of the Three Stooges and on Delta Flight 2839 bound for Minneapolis, I was invited on stage to perform a matinee of my very own.

My toddler who is nearly two didn’t poop the day before said flight so we gave her prunes that morning, a fact painfully germane to the events that follow. Halfway through our three-hour flight, I felt my wife’s expression warm…


Practicing meditation can bring joy, focus, healing, and many other incredibly powerful benefits if you go in prepared.

I adopted meditation out of need. As I healed from childhood trauma and subsequent addictions, my wife recommended we try a simple meditation in the morning. I felt the benefits over the next few days and weeks and I haven’t looked back. I extol meditation and how it helped me heal in a book I wrote about my trauma and how I survived. It had been six years of daily meditation when I decided to enter a ten-day silent meditation retreat. As it’s called, the Vipassana retreat, practices sitting and walking meditation for twelve hours a day. The retreat prohibits…


How can a white person be part of the solution? Here are a few easy starters.

It’s been suggested that to not speak up demonstrates an unwillingness to stand up. The problem is that I don’t know what to say. I’m frustrated, heartbroken, angry, confused but I dare not even try to unsee the deliberate hate that we all have witnessed, that we continue to witness.

I’m not sure where my place is here, what my role is. I’m a successful, middle-aged, white man who wants to be a part of the solution. The first book I read outside of school was the Autobiography of Malcolm X followed by Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin…


Sleep deprivation in adolescents and teens is strongly associated with suicide, the second leading cause of death of teenagers.

My “lazy” teenage self was right. Now, armed with a lot more knowledge, I aim my best I-told-you-so stare at my father. Of course, at the time he didn’t know any of the facts below as they are pretty new. Still, in my incredibly petty way, I feel vindicated because he was wrong. Below are a few facts that have impacted the way I parent in providing an environment that fosters brain development and mental health for my daughters and how I behave as a husband and father.

I once thought that circadian rhythms were akin to astrology but then…


Meditation was one of the first efforts of self-love that actually made a difference in my life.

In her book Real Love, Sharon Salzberg wrote:

People tell you to just love yourself, but they don’t tell you how.

I think I connected with that line originally because it’s true. There’s a lot of popcorn philosophy out there that isn’t backed up by methodology. When I was working to put my life back together after a five-year suicidal binge with drugs and alcohol, I didn’t need someone telling me to love myself. I needed someone to give me the tools to do it.

Far from having all the answers, I have discovered a method of self-love that has…

Rob Imbeault

Father of daughters, volunteer, author of Before I Leave You: A Memoir on Suicide, Addiction, and Healing. Co-founder Assent Compliance #LGBTQIA+ 🏳️‍🌈

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