If it’s socially egregious to suggest that females are slaves to their hormones, then shouldn’t the same expectation apply to males?

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I made a big dietary lifestyle change four years ago in an effort to be more healthy. After testing prevailing theories and monitoring endless biomarkers and micronutrient levels I lost fifty plus pounds and improved every measurable marker immensely but one stood out. At 46 years old, my testosterone level rose to was that of a virile 19-year-old. After quickly and proudly posting these results to social media it occurred to me that although my blood showed a hormone historically associated with aggression, I had become a pacifist.

This was confusing to me. I believed that testosterone was directly associated with violence but it seemed to have the opposite effect on me. Are we not the slaves to our hormones some may have us believe? Further, if it’s socially egregious to suggest that women are slaves to their hormones, then shouldn’t the same expectation apply to men? I was not always anti-violence. In fact, I loved fighting. I boxed for over a decade and even co-owned a boxing club. I forged close friendships over stiff jabs to the face (mostly received) and my personal favorite, hooks to the body (mostly delivered). …

In our weakest moments, we reveal truths about ourselves we’d prefer to hide. Maybe what we ought to be doing is to not hide them but uncover them, own them, change them.

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In case you were in a beautiful, silent place last week, perhaps in nature with no wi-fi, let’s catch up. In front of national news media, Congressman Ted Yoho called Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a “fucking bitch”. …

When we own our true nature through strength and vulnerability, we are defining what masculinity is.

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When I met my brother in law for the first time, we shook hands firmly as we exchanged affirmative expressions, eye-to-eye study, and a murmured “good to meet you.” He’s a military man from the United States and I’m a writer from Canada. I didn’t meet him when he married my sister because I had only discovered that my sister existed months before, which I feel I should explain.

After shipping a swab of spit to ancestry.com, I was notified that my DNA suggested I had first and second cousins who had also sent in their spit. A woman reached out to me through the site’s messaging service, explaining that she was searching for her birth father. I decided to help. The clues she provided me led us to believe and later confirmed that she was my older sister. …


Rob Imbeault

Father of daughters, volunteer, author of Before I Leave You: A Memoir on Suicide, Addiction, and Healing. Co-founder Assent Compliance #LGBTQIA+ 🏳️‍🌈

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