Thank you for writing this! I decided to stop drinking over 2 months ago. Not necessarily to “quit” forever, but to put it all on pause. I realized that everything I did, other than go to work, revolved around drinking. I was always the one to bring the bottle of wine to the picnic, sneak the flask into a book reading, remember to bring cans instead of bottles to the beach, and pick the brunch spot that had mimosas on the menu. A few weeks after I stopped, I realized a few things: just how much mental space was taken up by thinking about when I could start drinking, if I had enough to drink at home, and when the next time I could drink would be. I realized that because of how much and regularly I was drinking, I was missing making and keeping memories of my daughter as she grows from being a baby to a toddler. I realized just how frustrated I am with the male privileged I’m surrounded with at my job. I realized just how much I was self medicating to make myself complacent- that way I could be relaxed and ignore what was going on around me, as opposed to feeling the anger simmering below the surface. Thanks for putting such strong words behind the experience. Your story is so helpful to me, and the many others like me.