What It Takes To Be A Real Man After A Divorce
We, as men, tend to turn inward when we don’t know who to turn to for help. Divorce is one of those shameful things, that we like to bury and think the pain will just go away one day.
“Time will heal all” is the biggest load of bulls**t I’ve heard.
I sat alone, in solitude, waiting, wishing, wanting, it would go away. Did it?
I had to go out and do something about it.
Let me tell you a story.
The pain of shame, guilt, remorse all encapsulated into one giant ball of worry pitted deep within our hearts, is a tear-fest waiting to happen. When that pain gets to the surface and you no longer can take it anymore, you start to search for the easy way out. The bandage-situation we’ve all been waiting for.
Self-medication. Booze. Drugs.
Over and over again. Walking through life as if you were on auto-pilot. Not even aware, that anything is wrong. Crying. Drinking. Crying. Smoking. Hurting. Wanting…to die. Burying that pain deeper, so that it just amplifies when it comes back up again.
It’s like trying to sink a beach ball into the pool. What happens when you try to sink it deeper and deeper? The resistance gets stronger and stronger.
It’s no easy task. Some guys handle it better than I did. Some guys…can’t even handle it all!
I’ve been there. If it weren’t for my epiphany, I would have killed myself.
The bridge…looking down…would have been the last of me.
But, the euphoria of my calling was bigger and deeper than this, I had to hold the rail, and gasp for air, as the last tear dried on my face from the passing wind.
…to safety…to tell this story.
It’s okay to feel like you’re unworthy. It’s okay to feel like you don’t fit in anywhere. It’s okay for your self-esteem to take a hit. And it’s okay to start over and to re-find your purpose and enjoy the happy and fulfilled life that you deserve. But that’s not how it’s going to end.
I went from living out of my car, to wanting to commit suicide, to now creating the life that I never dreamed of when I was at my lowest. So can it be done? Just watch…
Do not isolate yourself. Do not feel like you’re alone. Reach out. To someone. To me. Anyone. A loved one. Don’t do it by yourself. Don’t bury it deep, and wish it will go away.
Talk about it. Let it out. Cry.
That’s being a real man. The world needs more of that. So keep it up.
This is why, I am on the journey that I am on. To tell my story of past pain, to give hope to those suffering and shed the light on the trail of happiness. Men need to be more vulnerable and speak up about their emotions. It’s okay to have them. It’s natural, normal and if you master them, it will serve as a guide.
You can overcome it. You just have to be mindful, and dedicated to your self-development and it’s not just a wish, but an intentional act. Every single day.
So go. Be a real man.
I dare you.
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings…” — Lao Tzu