Can I have a positive body image and still exercise for a desired physique?

Robin Googles
Nov 8 · 4 min read

Buying shorts is not really my favourite thing to do, especially when the lighting in the fitting room is pointing out every single piece of cellulite on my body. Although over the past year I’ve learned to accept my body more, when I’m confronted like that, I can’t stop thinking, I need to lose weight. A year ago I would have manipulated every single piece of food I would take in that day and I would make sure to run before I’d go to bed. This year I am going to do things different.

What do you value most?

As soon as we feel we need to lose weight, we need to remind ourselves what’s really important to us. Are you here to have a good time with your friends or to obsess over your body, that even if it changed you would probably still have the same friends, the same job, the same hobbies and have exactly the same life? I always thought I would gain body confidence if my body looked how I wanted it to, but this meant that if I lost my physique, I would lose my confidence too. It’s not a very sustainable sense of confidence. Sustainable confidence comes from knowing what is important to you. When your ego thoughts come along ask yourself, how do these thoughts align with my values?

I’ve been journaling for some time now and I came to understand that my body is never the outcome for the life I want to live. Life is not about how you look, it’s about what you do, it’s about where you want to spend your time. For me this means spending time with friends, enjoying food, good conversations, reading interesting books, playing guitar, learning new skills, travelling the world or meeting other people.

Last year, I was chronic dieting, over exercising, not relaxing, not listening to my body and not seeing my good friends enough. Basically not living life according to my values at all. If we’re only focussed on attaining a desired physique, we’re living in fear. We’re living in fear of that our bodies are not liked or accepted by strangers. Why would we fear the opinion of strangers so much? It’s not that your partner, friends or family are going to like you more when you spend less time with them and instead you choose to eat your mealpreps and drink vodka sodas.

If we decide we need to change our bodies, we need to know at what cost? Before doing stuff for yourself, do stuff for the people you love. If that means having a beer or eating nacho’s, then this should never come before your body fat percentage. Never. But if you feel like you want to get fit for summer and on Monday evening you’re all by yourself either on the couch or in the gym, that’s a whole different scenario. We can work on our physique but not at the cost of what we value most.

Disordered eating or healthy habits?

It’s okay for someone wanting to feel good in their skin, sometimes training towards a physique can be quite fulfilling, but the line of where it turns into disordered eating is so thin. I believe disordered eating happens when we put our bodies above our core values. To give you an example, this Saturday me and my friend decided to have wine and bitterballen. It’s a Dutch snack, so delicious, and it’s probably going to be a long time before I get to eat that stuff again, since I will be leaving soon to Bali. My former mentality would say, NO BE STRONG order a 0 calorie drink and think about your beach body, but my new mentality said spending time with friends and enjoying food is more important than you and your body.

I believe we all have these moments and especially when it’s pointed out to us that we’re tested. At this point in my life, I still enjoy training and working towards a fitter body, but not at the cost of my goals and values. I will always put those up front, since I believe we need to get our confidence from being grounded in our values, being there for the people we love and finding our purpose through helping others. None of this has to do with the aesthetics of our bodies.

Whenever you think you need to lose weight, check with yourself, am I getting in the way of my own values? This could be choosing exercise over spending time with friends, eating mealprep instead of going out for dinner, staying home drinking tea instead of having a beer with colleagues or skipping cake on your grandma’s birthday party. By doing so you will keep yourself from disordered eating or crazy exercise habits. I believe nowadays the line between what’s healthy behaviour and unhealthy is so thin. There’s so much content out there, that can trigger disordered eating habits. That’s why we need to stay aware of our thoughts and act accordingly.

Stay healthy, stay active, but mostly stay grounded in your values and don’t let your ego steal your greatness!

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade