Things I Can Do Without a Cat
Regina Morrow passed away last week. I loved her dearly, but being a non-pet owner has its advantages. I can now:
Get an area rug knowing it won’t eventually turn into a swamp of cat hair.
Not break my arms carrying 40-lb tubs of cat litter from the car.
I can have someone over spontaneously because there is no possibility that she just took a dump that permeated the house.
Leave the house for more than three days without having to get a pet sitter.
Not have to smell the “Turkey and Giblets Feast” canned food.
Don’t have to worry about someone shoving their a**hole in my face all the time.
Can wear a black shirt confidently.
Leave piles of unfolded laundry out as long as I want!
Use the bathroom without an audience.
Not have to bear the burden of unconditional love. Blech!