Things I Can Do Without a Cat

Regina Morrow passed away last week. I loved her dearly, but being a non-pet owner has its advantages. I can now:

Get an area rug knowing it won’t eventually turn into a swamp of cat hair.

Not break my arms carrying 40-lb tubs of cat litter from the car.

I can have someone over spontaneously because there is no possibility that she just took a dump that permeated the house.

Leave the house for more than three days without having to get a pet sitter.

Not have to smell the “Turkey and Giblets Feast” canned food.

Don’t have to worry about someone shoving their a**hole in my face all the time.

Can wear a black shirt confidently.

Leave piles of unfolded laundry out as long as I want!

Use the bathroom without an audience.

Not have to bear the burden of unconditional love. Blech!

A single golf clap? Or a long standing ovation?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.