I Like You Broken Like Me!
The first time I heard this song, I was slightly annoyed that it seemed to resemble a song, though I couldn’t place the tune or musician. This is the type of song that grows on you despite any effort to ignore it, or turn the station. I ended up humming it later on, much to my chagrin.
As I listened to the lyrics, I thought, “Oh boy, this is the epitome of a co-dependent relationship, if ever there was one”. If you listen closely to the words, you’ll see what I mean…
And before anyone @’s me, I do realize it’s just a song. If I don’t like it , surely I don’t have to listen to it, neither do I have to tear it apart.
Perhaps, what I found disturbing about this song, is that I actually felt this way for part of my teens and early twenties.
I did want someone that was “broken like me”, simply because I did not require much of myself, (or anything, really). I felt that someone who was ambitious, was out of my league . There was no way that someone like that would go for someone like me. A lost broken soul.
So, for a while I saw this as my only option for “love” broken as it seemed: Dysfunctional as it seemed. Surely, I could not hope or wish for someone with dreams and aspirations for success, or someone who would want me to be the best that I could possibly be.
Until I did.
Sadly, that is one profound aspect of dysfunctional relationships. When one wants to reach out and dare to live a more hopeful existence, how often does the other partner endorse this journey?
Occasionally, there may at first be resistance and then, even encouragement. However, I’m willing to bet, that most of the time, that will be sabotage and subterfuge.
All so they can keep their “love” tightly within their grasp. They want to be the reason for their happiness and existence. Moreover, he/she depends upon their partner for the same. I don’t think I have to tell you, just how unhealthy this is. This “love”, which is not really love, but rather, about power and control.
I have seen these kind of fatalistic relationships from near and far. Friends and families alike. Indeed, many a time, these relationships can turn fatal.
In my humble opinion, relationships of any kind, require a vast amount of give and take, as well as compromise. There will be times when you carry your partner through a difficult patch, and hopefully they will reciprocate.
No one is perfect, of course. One would hope that as a couple grows, they will grow together. Although, many a time, couples may outgrow each other and separate. If there are children involved, I would hope for all parties involved, there will be an amicable parting of ways. Co-parenting will take on a very different meaning.
Some couples will “just throw in the towel”. Not putting forth the effort to weather the storms of life. As it is , the divorce rate is 1/2 or higher by now.
Though,if there are irreconcilable differences, and that is the only for the family or people involved to thrive, then that is a decision to be weighed carefully, and thoroughly.
So, enough of the heavy stuff, right?!
All I ask of you, is to look at media and entertainment, as it were, with fresh eyes! Especially those with impressionable kids and teens. Music and media often carry hidden messages that we adults, with life experience, tend to overlook and possibly dismiss, as just music.
Is it life imitating art? Or life imitating art, imitating life?
Hmmm, something to chew on.