“You never see how toxic someone really is until you breathe fresher air”
I still don’t know. You were the best I could ever imagine. But I had never had anything else. Until I did.
And then.. I started to notice how much your mumbled comments hurt me. How much I hated it when you talked about my mom, my boyfriend, and everyone else I cared about that wasn’t you.
When I started considering distancing myself.. I couldn’t even imagine my life without you. You’d helped me through so much. We’d had so many memories, good just as well as bad. I couldn’t forget that. You’ve been such a constant for only four years, but it seems like forever.
It made me open up, though. I knew I couldn’t deal with it on my own. They made me start to understand that it wasn’t all my fault. That the way you had been treating me wasn’t normal or okay.
I’m not blaming you. And I am not perfect. I depend too much on people. I let other people control me. Which means I just need to be around people who will encourage me to live for myself, not try to do it for me.
We just don’t work together. I’m timid and fearful, and you’re headstrong and loud. My voice could never compete. You won’t let me make my own mistakes, no matter how much you hate other people doing it to you. You always feel the need to take control, in my life as well as yours. You have so many ideas of where my life should go, and you won’t listen to what I think about it.
And yet, I still don’t know.