Forgiveness
Clara
12

Well…is there a name for people like us? I don’t mean to bring religion into it but I call it ‘my Holy Spirit’. Maybe it’s self awareness but I tend to always be able to see when I did the same thing or something similar. In other words, my flaws jump out at me. But if this does not happen to you, one thing that worked for me was nearly losing the person that I could not imagine the time would ever come when we would not be talking.

I was so haunted by the near miss that I found myself accomodating the fact that…well…he is not me. I like me a whole lot and tend apparently to think more ‘Mes’ would be a good thing.

At the same time I did jettison some future business plans with this person. So sheesh what’s the cure for being such a bad unforgiver (am even quaking as I write this). Am trying pretending some stuff did not happen as in okay, well these wonderful things also happened. That worked yesterday.

One thing is, since I started trying the friendship used to be toxic like you best friend this person to death but cannot stand him or her in a very warped way, now its more serene and stuff to do or not to do to make us get along better keeps popping into my head…hope you find peace. It can be horrible when the broken record of their supposed awfulness keeps playing in one’s head.

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