New budget for FA cup title songs, reveals Osborne.

Chancellor George Osborne has today revealed a “secret nugget” in his recent budget. He’s freed up money from poor, disabled and less fortunate people, to fund football clubs in releasing hit singles for their FA cup runs.

The tory bumboy and failed budget dictator spoke to us today. “I just don’t know what happened to those great songs. Anfield rap, world in motion and three lions I have them all on Spotify, but just found it upsetting that no new ones are being released.

“I’ve been working very closely with John Barnes and Kammy on this. I mean you really firm the deal with the black guys first, because the best anthems have a rap in it.”

Ex-Liverpool midfield general and top rapper John Barnes is excited by the prospect. “I’ve had a glittering rap career on the back of world in motion. But they’re mainly about Fucking honeys and shooting at other black people. I miss the football songs, they’re more wholesome.”

Heavily decorated and disabled war hero, Keith Chaps is also beaming at the news. “I love those songs, when I was in hospital after losing both legs and an arm, they’re all that kept me going. I won’t be able to afford to buy the singles but I’m sure I’ll hear about them on Facebook and Twitter.”

Chris “Kammy” Kamara, an advocate of soccer based anthems showed his excitement, “It’s unbelievable news!”

Labour back benches think that this is career suicide for the Chancellor and believe that this will spark uproar amongst the public. But what do they know…they’re not the government.

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