What I Learned This Week, July 16–22, 2017

1. I truly believe all of the world’s problems can be solved with dance offs. The UN’s General Assembly should be turned into one gigantic 70’s disco inspired dance floor. Feel free to pass that along to Secretary General Guterres if anyone is his friend on Facebook or has him as a connection on LinkedIn.
2. It’s amazing what happens to your life when you disconnect yourself from toxic situations. There’s suddenly so much more room for fun in your life!
3. I was playing some early 90s Hip Hop at work and a twenty something client said to me “My dad plays this song all the time!” That’s when I realized I have more in common with a 50yr old than a 25yr old and whatever hopes of being cool again were forever lost. RIP coolness.
4. I was never cool to begin with.
5. I have a satirical self-help podcast and not enough of you are listening to it. If it helps my mom thinks it’s hilarious.

6. Repeating empowering affirmations daily actually works! Who knew? … Other than all the incredibly happy and successful people who’ve been swearing by it for years…
7. Nothing excites the soul more than a saxophone. That’s why I’ve decided any bad news going forward can only be communicated to me during a sexy ass saxophone solo. I dare your soul not to swoon as this saxophone makes sweet love to your earholes (it starts at the 2:30 mark).
8. You’re welcome for the earhole sex.
