What I Learned This Week, July 9–15, 2017

Here’s my wisdom and insight from the last week. Please enjoy and take pity on the state of my life.

  1. My procrastination fuelled chair groove dancing has never been more on point.
  2. The mosquitos this year have turned into vampire pigeons.
  3. Emphatically saying “Hola!” never fails to bring a smile to my face. It might be the greatest word in the history of everything. It’s also the only Spanish I know, which makes for some terribly confusing conversations.
  4. Watching the news is literally making me dumber.
  5. I’m quietly undermining my goals by continually defaulting to living small.
  6. If recently history is any sign, my current definition for a romantic dinner is sharing apple slices with my dog.
  7. Enjoying burpees is the fitness equivalent of the Stockholm syndrome.
  8. Impromptu day drinking is a lot of fun but it quickly turns into a race against time to get me lying down by 7pm before my entire body starts systematically shutting itself down.
  9. HOLA! … I dare you to scream it and not smile!
  10. No matter how old you are when you hear your parents say “hot and sultry” it’s impossible to not throw up in your mouth.