Top 10 Complaints Of A Sickly Victorian Boy
10. I don’t care Doctor says its good for me, Laudanum-laced Cod Liver oil tastes ever so dreadful!
9. Oh no! A feel a draft across my withered legs! That’s how you catch Scarlet Fever!
8. Pa-Pa returned from Ceylon three months ago? Why hasn’t he visited me, the living reminder of his doomed romance?
7. Why must I be confined to this accursed bed that my twin died in? And why does his spirit whisper vile things to me at night?
6. All the portraits in the Great Hall stare at me as if they would do me great harm.
5. At night, Ugly Roger, the Chimney Sweep boy, comes out of my fireplace and steals into my bedsheets. He says what we do betwixt them is a secret.
4. Wednesdays are beastly because Wednesday means gruel for supper.
3. How I long to feel a summer breeze on my sunken cheeks and the sun on my pallid skin! But Nurse says only Irish street-urchins and dogs are allowed out-of-doors...*pout*
2. When the wind on the moors blows just right, I can hear Mother’s screams from the tower.
1. I have soiled my nightshirt.
