For years I have wandered into stationary and art supply stores leaving with bags of pencils, paints, sketchbooks and stuff that could be used to express myself. I once trawled the isles of a huge hypermarket buying toothpicks, steal-wool, earbuds and marbles. I planned to glue it all together in the name of art and expression. It all sits in my cupboard unused. Blank pages and crisp untouched pastels. I keep buying. I am well stocked for the big day when I muster up the courage to let it all out.

What I am trying to say is that I have been knocking on this door for some time now.

At 09h30 today I am booked to join a group of friends on a walking tour of downtown Johannesburg. I have been awake since 04h00 … I am that excited! I know where we are going. I have been there many times before. I’ve seen my friends recently. We are all caught up.

It is my camera and the thought of taking picture that has me worked up. I absolutely love how connected I feel when I am crouched behind the lens searching for the shot that mirrors what I see and how I feel.

It is totally elusive and I am totally ok with that.

When I get home much later, I will hurriedly load the photos into Aperture and scramble through them looking for the gems. Deleting the rest. If I am lucky I will have one that draws me in. I might tinker with the contrast and saturation a bit. I might not. It is also possible that I will upload it onto Flickr or Pixoto and let the world see.

A year ago my business partners generously gave me a camera for my 43rd birthday. This rekindled my old interest in photography. I found it easy to start shooting. Unlike my blank sketch books my disc space was filling up fast. I suddenly found it easier to express myself. I fell in love with the riddle of light and the possibility of manual settings.

Photography has made me more observant. I listen better and it has helped answered the knock at my door to expression. “Grateful” is not a big enough word. My sketchbooks are filling up. I have written this little story. All the doors are opening.

I am scratching my itch to express. Maybe this helps you scratch yours.