How to Be an Amazing Boss — Pt 2: The One-On-One
As Leaders of others, it’s our job to create the container that sets them up for success. One of the tools that fuels this, is the almighty “one-on-one” meeting.
- Do Treat this as Sacred Time Together: Select a cadence of your (mutual) liking — whether weekly or every other week (I don’t recommend spacing them further apart, to ensure you remain engaged in celebrating or supporting their efforts) — then, stick to it.
Don’t show up late, cancel repeatedly, or reschedule time and again. That only tells your Team that they are not a priority, and it can manifest in everything from employee divestment, to abysmal results (or worse: active sabotage). And, really, everyone you lead, is a priority. “Busyness” can be a compelling illusion, but on the off-chance you don’t consider these check-ins part of your job… I promise you, serving your people, so they can be their most impactful (and happiest!) selves and achieve the agreed-upon goals, is the job. Plus, it’s wildly rewarding to show up for your people, in this way.
2. Do Review their Status Update Before Meeting: This mission critical time together is not for reviewing project or program status. At all. Status updates need to be baked-in to other communication pathways… whether you do something as simple as ask for a weekly checklist of where progress stands (a word doc, an email, etc.), or use a sophisticated online portal like Weekdone (we were big fans of this at my company, as it created visibility of progress and efforts across the entire org)… it’s something that you need to review before your one-on-ones, so the time can be used to deepen what’s afoot. You’ll ask better questions, and they’ll have something more meaningful to share than “here’s what I did since we last met.” That is an inefficient use of everyone’s time (and we all hate wasted time in meetings, don’t we?). And, if you’re just looking to prove or confirm they were doing their work… you’ve got bigger problems.
3. Do Ask What’s Gone Well, Since Your Last One-On-One: This gives you the opportunity to acknowledge your people, and anyone else who was a part of co-creating the accomplishments being shared. This also enables you to surf for opportunities to replicate success, by overlaying how they got there, onto other initiatives. Epic win.
4. Do Ask What They’ve Learned Since Your Last Meeting: This serves a few masters… it lets them know that you value curiosity (which is, ultimately, the source of creativity and innovation… and you never know where your organization or Team’s next great idea will come from. It could be one of these moments). It can also be an indicator of training gaps. Maybe there’s some important piece of onboarding that got missed by those “in the forest,” who couldn’t see the trees. It can also reframe something we find scary (admitting we don’t know something… gulp), as fuel for growth, because it’s being explored in a non-threatening way.
5. Do Ask What’s Been A Challenge to Their Progress or Success: Maybe you’re worried this could land as an invitation to “complain.” Remember: every employee who’s “complaining,” is really just a human who’s yearning for something to be better. At least this is true when they’re expressing it with you, and not simply creating a negative environment by sharing it solely with co-workers. There’s a difference. Probe these noticings together, and then take action on the information.
You, the Leader, exist to remove obstacles to their success — seriously, you can be a total superhero, if you do nothing but this. On the flip-side, if you let these insights fester, without any visible movement, you will be hearing about them again. During the exit interview. Oof.
6. Discuss the Possibilities for Their Future: This isn’t something for every one-on-one, but at least monthly, or quarterly, get curious about what they’re most loving at work — and reflect back to them what you see as some of their greatest gifts (there is almost nothing more powerful than being seen, heard and validated… we all hunger for it). Then, examine what could fuel that future. Training opportunities you can provide? Access to new or different projects that invite them to stretch? A professional pathway they might not have imagined?
And, the act of having this conversation need not make you fear their impending departure. Your people will love you for seeing them as more than they may have seen themselves… and when the time is right for them to move on, you’ll bless each others’ next journey, because it’s the most alivening thing to do. For both of you.
To this day, I, myself, have many former employees, with whom I joyfully remain in touch. And, for whom I’ve supplied a multitude of job references, among other things. It has been my absolute pleasure to do so.
By seeing your people into their greatness, they will not only be extraordinary contributors at your organization… but any organization. And, don’t we want this for the world we all share?
