I googled ‘Depression in Startups’ and now I feel less alone.

I want to be open with you because I feel like I can. Hopefully after this, you feel like you can too.

I haven’t thought about suicide or self-harm for a while and I’m able to hold a conversation without breaking down, I can leave my house and I can concentrate on tasks. I know how to bat away the clouds of bad thoughts and I’ve learnt how to be more mindful and ‘in the present moment’. I’ve had depression for quite some time, since I was 14 in fact — it’s uncomfortable and it can be a lonely old thing, but I have been through the motions enough times now to know what I need to do to shake myself out of it.

It was 7 months ago when I dipped my toes into the startup world, when I decided to build something that I could call my own. I’ve spent months reaching out to people that have the knowledge and expertise to support me along the way, who can help to build my idea into something solid and hand me the right tools needed to build it properly. I’ve built a strong network of supportive and experienced people, and I’m still learning and trying out new ways to make things better for Innovators Hub. I’m excited. Constantly excited.

But I’m also scared, anxious and a lot of the time in a state of solitude. The worst part? I remember feeling a similar way before slipping into the depth of depression.

This got me thinking, could I be relapsing because it’s the typical cycle of depression or is starting up a business that emotionally draining and difficult, it could be the cause of me feeling the way I do? If it is this, then how many more people are out there going through the same thing as me, and how many more people are asking this exact question? So I googled ‘Depression in Startups’.

Before I knew it, I had reams and reams of pages in front of me filled with blogs and articles of founders, all at different stages of their businesses, sharing their experiences of having really poor mental health during their time of starting up. Although, it’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone and that there are other people out there experiencing something similar, I felt unbelievably frustrated — for three reasons:

1. Putting the ‘fundamental’ startup advice aside, the amount of advice and support for emotional wellbeing is little to none. Yet it is one of the key, if not the most important part of keeping on top of your game in the startup journey.
2. Unfortunately, in the world of business, speaking about your own mental health and showing vulnerability is made out to be a sign of weakness. We have forgotten that Entrepreneurs are human, who too need assurance, support and guidance.
3. Depression is being swept under the carpet as though it doesn’t exist amongst those in business, when in reality it haunts 30% of the world’s most brilliant people.

What do I think we need to do for things to change?

We need to talk. Talk to each other, it’s perfectly ok to show vulnerability. We need to highlight emotional well-being within startups. It’s as much as a priority as is how to work on your cashflow. We need to be made aware. Awareness of the symptoms and signs of depression is key. We need to stop brushing personal problems under the carpet. Be open and share your experiences.