The downfalls of Gen Z’s simultaneous narcissism and lack of individuality
Over the course of this train wreck of a blog, I have made it no secret that I, one of those weirdoes born on the border between the Gen Z and millennial generations, harbor issues with certain sectors of Gen Z culture. I personally believe that we — those in the younger portion of the generation in particular — have come to be massively rude, intolerant of differing beliefs, much too quick to jump to conclusions in many different situations, and insanely hypocritical in the way we talk so harshly about the ills of boomers and millennials while actively exuding their worst characteristics on steroids. I also cannot stress enough that I do not by any means wish ill will on my own generation. Quite the contrary, actually: I seriously hope we can do our best to prosper and leave a largely positive legacy for those to come. Which is why our growing obsession with every single one of us adhering to an “Aesthetic” while thinking and behaving exactly identical to one another to be genuinely disturbing and potentially (hell, already) catastrophic.
Part One: Aesthetic Culture
Now, I am well-aware that “Aesthetic Culture” has always existed, from the flappers of the ’20s to the punks of the late ’70s, but never before have we seen such a quick and aggressive trend cycle. What previously would have been years’ worth of fads, for example the 80s glam/hair metal lasting just about a decade, then moving aside for grunge to take the main stage in the 90s, that were often built around a genre of music (punk, glam, grunge, etc.), a lifestyle (most country/western based ones), or an art movement (Pop art in the 1950s and 60s) are now overly specific sets of standards put forth by random influencers on TikTok. Y’know, those people who often seem to think of themselves as another class of human just because they post on social media.
Then, said set of standards disappears like a fart in the wind after maybe a month or two, sometimes even just weeks.
This rapid trend cycle and the ways in which it has been implemented have harmed its participants in more ways than one. For starters, most of these micro trends, including but not limited to “Pink Pilates Princess,” “Clean Girl,” and “Old Money,” nearly always include an entire lifestyle in addition to a change of clothes. To be a proper “Pink Pilates Princess,” you must get your hands on a pair of pink Lululemon leggings ($60), a matching Stanley Cup ($45+), an adorbs Lululemon yoga mat ($69), and then actually book pilates classes for an upwards of $30 per class (that’s also lowballing, they’re usually closer to the $50 range and can be up to $300). That gives you a bill of at least $204 for just the first month of living out your cute little aesthetic. And then, a month or two later, you scroll on your phone for a bit and find that “Pink Pilates Princess” is out and the “Mob Wife” is in. Time to invest in a fur coat and some cigarettes!
And it doesn’t help that the ranks of chronically online Gen Z (and unfortunately even the oldest of Gen Alpha) will hesitate not a single fleeting second before jumping down the throats of anybody who dares go against these aesthetics. Those who sport the “Old Money” aesthetic make and post entire videos detailing how details of outfits such as bright colors or the tiniest shred of variety supposedly make you look like a cheap little dweeb who is both underneath them and unworthy of feeling even remotely fashionable. (Side note: part of me seriously wishes they could see my trashy, leather pants and mud cricket cowboy boots-wearing arse and quake.)
Not gonna lie, it is incredibly ironic that a generation that prides itself to a borderline-egotistical degree on being more kind and accepting than any before it also is one of the most vicious when a single person in its own ranks breaks form or is even the slightest bit lagging in the rat race of a trend cycle.
Really, the only reason I originally wished to create an entire blog on this matter alone is that I, along with many others around me, have noticed an undercurrent of morality being placed on aspects of one’s tastes as trivial as the clothes they wear, the movies or TV shows they watch, the music they listen to, and most definitely the photos they wish to post on their feeds. Again, I know this existed in the past, but just within my short lifetime, I’ve seen a shift.
Part Two: You’re still a self-obsessed bully, you’re just lying about it now.
“Main character syndrome” is a term I only recently became acquainted with but nevertheless have tirelessly worked at incorporating it into my vocabulary. Why? Well, I believe it perfectly encapsulates the gigantic issue I have with so many people, especially the versions of themselves they portray online, and that is the fact that they are blatant narcissists. Let me be clear, I am no medical professional and am not trying to diagnose anyone here. I am Regard the term “narcissist” as a simile for “selfish and entitled ass” from here on out for the purposes of this narrative. I also fully admit to being guilty of becoming a bit too self-absorbed at times, especially online.
Now, since the Urban Dictionary can define Main Character Syndrome (MCS) more efficiently than I ever could, I give you their definition:
“When someone thinks they are the main character of their life. Usually comes with a side of individuality complex, quirky style and a self centered point of view.”
The current epidemic of MCS spreading across western nations, specifically the US in this discussion, is the root of a vast host of issues our society faces today. Why is it that all a tom boy or redneck girl has to post is a light-hearted bit of self-depreciating humor surrounding the way she dresses “like a dude” for the comments to be flooded with protests of “feeling special, huh?” or “oooo, she’s not like the other girls *insert eyeroll emoji*.” Hell, you don’t even need to go that far, all you need to do is declare that you have interests outside of the mental freaking rubric your peers keep of what you can and cannot like to do.
For example —
Since I am having technical difficulties and cannot embed the video itself, here are some screenshots of an Instagram reel made by @poliwayy:
A simple, relatively innocent little comment on differing interests and really loving to speak to people who share hobbies. Pretty harmless, right? Well, that’s not how these people took it:
Yeah, how dare someone express that they don’t hold the same interests as you. What a tool!
But seriously, Gen Z’s propensity to jump to snotty quips whenever someone expresses even slightly differing views is laughable. And generally speaking, it only goes one way. It’s really quite funny; the same people constantly moaning and complaining that no one takes “girly” likes such as the color pink, makeup, Taylor Swift, or even the Barbie movie seriously are doing the exact same thing they claim to hate. That is, they cannot handle anyone giving attention to something they personally would not. And by the way, I do understand and even agree with their initial point. I liked the Barbie movie, and was told it sucked by people who were never the target market. While I’m not the biggest Taylor Swift fan, I have garnered similar criticism for liking artists like Miley Cyrus and Rihanna. And I absolutely dig drawing on my face sometimes. These things shouldn’t be written off as childish or foolish hobbies for dumb blonde girls as they often are.
I also just think that being a blatant hypocrite is insufferable and asinine.
Because if you are going to make some huge show of someone being a pick-me and call yourself a girl’s girl in the process, you’d better be criticizing said pick-me for doing what the term originally entailed, which is dissing traditionally “girly” women to make themselves look more care-free. If your entire critique is centered around their hobbies, sense of style or other superficial markers, then you, ma’am, are proving the pick-me mantra of “I can’t hang out with women, they’re just so dramatic and bitchy!”
In short, you’re just an old school mean girl, you don’t need to act as if you’re the girl’s girl in shining armor coming to save the rest of us from an evil pick-me. Women don’t owe anybody camaraderie on the sole basis of them being of the same gender. It’s fine to just care about friends and family and say to hell with the random wannabe dictators on TikTok telling you that to be a decent person you have to go out of your way to “uplift other women.”
Part Three: No quip here, just stop faking the disorders. Seriously.
Look, this section is not meant for those who have been diagnosed with mental disorders by a medical professional. As a former bulimic with AD/HD, I’m not going to sit here and say mental health is fully a scam and that “The kids these days are all faking it!”
No, this short bit of commentary goes out to a specific group of people who perfectly encapsulate every other criticism I’ve laid out so far. I’ve gotta say, in my twenty years on this rock, I’ve never once seen a higher concentration of attention whore behavior than when I decided to scar myself for life and browse fake disorder TikTok.
Why bother developing a personality when you can just fake Tourettes Syndrome?
People like the creator above (guy on the right, not the clown on the left) have done much more in-depth analysis of these influencers and debunked exact flaws in their portrayals, so all I’ll say here is something that I know for a fact multitudes of people are thinking but are too non-confrontational to say: Shame on anybody who fakes any mental disorder for the sole purpose of gaining engagement on social media. You make people dealing with official diagnosis and legitimate obstacles as a result of those conditions look like they could be faking it as well. May you erupt in the flames of the eighth circle of hell with your fellow liars in Dante’s Inferno.
Please, just invent yourself a personality and take up a hobby or two.
Part Four: You’re a person, not a freaking lemming.
Now, twenty years may be a relatively short time to have been alive, but in my twenty years I have been called many names. Back in 2020, some random Snapchat “friend” referred to me as a “Virgin with a big forehead” for daring to post a meme about Joe Biden not being able to talk coherently. Upon stating that I do indeed enjoy many a Garth Brooks tunes, I have had multiple people call me a “Libtard.” I even was told that I “litterallt [her word, not mine] talk shit about every girl that’s ‘basic’ [again, I don’t refer to people as ‘basic,’ that was her own fabrication] and bubbly” by the self-proclaimed genius messiah of the family. Why? Well, I said it was pretty rude of her to ditch a birthday bash the fam was throwing for her to go and smoke some good ole Devil’s lettuce with someone who talked mad smack on her for close to a decade before she drove off enough friends to be desperate enough to seek the company of that insipid wretch.
Long story, I know, but the point is, if you dare disagree with anybody on anything, you will most definitely garner yourself a host of frivolous, stupid, and 99% of the time completely false insults. And upon further observation, I’ve come to realize this overly defensive reaction comes from the fact that this sector of people is so accustomed to coddling that any sentiment you make that does not declare them a work of literal art or, heaven forbid, even slightly challenges their worldview, it is perceived as a dig.
This is all to say that it does not pay in any way whatsoever to be a blind follower, a lemming as I like to say. No matter how many steps you take to present the world the “perfect” persona, morals, political and social beliefs, etc., there will always be some self-righteous hack speaking up to tell you how horrible you are.
This is particularly evident in how extremely political Gen Z has become so early in our lives. Now, I may not be a boomer, but I am still ancient enough to remember a few trends back when everyone and their mother was posting black squares on their social media feeds in solidarity with BLM. Had this been the only event to happen, I would not have given the slightest of rips. You do you, man, who am I to stop you from posting whatever you want? But the absolute witch hunt that took place in the aftermath, with every person on the face of the earth expected to partake or else “YoU jUst wAnNa sEe pEopLe dIe!” made sixteen-year-old me want to physically facepalm.
You mean to tell me that if I simply think that — get ready — a post I make on social media as a teenager (who couldn’t even vote at the time) that will not make the slightest bit of difference in the grand scheme of things and is therefore inconsequential to even make in the first place, that means I wish bodily harm and death on people? I hate to break it to you, but a successful political movement doesn’t just go around and make accusations of villainy to the people on the opposing side, and most definitely not those on the fence without an opinion even formed. Literally all you do by forcing others to partake in your beliefs is further substantiate their perception of you being an entitled arse. Try and approach those people with a legitimate set of reasons and data and maybe then you’ll make some progress in convincing them.
This same villainization of their dissenting peers can be seen across pretty much every cultural, political and social phenomenon Gen Z has encountered since. Didn’t change your Instagram bio to include the flag of Ukraine? You must support Putin’s invasion. You don’t boycott Stranger Things 5 and Starbucks in support of Palestine? You actively support genocide, zionist! You don’t think the Barbie movie deserves an Oscar or Taylor Swift deserves another stack of Grammys? Misogynist!
Here’s the thing. Sometimes, people disagree with you. Even more of the time, they just don’t care about whatever given topic you’re preaching about, having no personal stake in it whatsoever. And you know what? That is completely fine. It does not mean they harbor the tiniest bit of ill will towards you or even the cause you are championing. It means they have come to a different conclusion.
This same black and white thinking has prevailed in areas of Gen Z culture beyond political activism as well. As a musician myself, I love engaging in conversations, sometimes even healthy debate, about both differences and similarities in music tastes. The ferocity with which people will either blindly defend or viciously attack certain artists is absolutely beyond me. Personally, as a lifelong Aerosmith fan, I can take criticisms people have of the band — some of which I agree with — and still appreciate their music and what it means to me. There’s times they’ve done nonsensical things (such as releasing Girls of Summer, a song so terrible that the entire band other than Steven Tyler refused to be in the music video) and admitting that an artist — or just a person in general — made mistakes doesn’t mean that you automatically hate them and their music. Yet, to the chronically online individuals this rant is addressed to, that is not the case.
The most prominent example of this is undoubtedly Taylor Swift.
Just a debrief on my stance so nobody’s making assumptions here: I could not care less about her music. Its by no means the worst thing out there, but its just not something I go out of my way to listen to. I think she is a genius businesswoman and has amassed an insanely impressive following. I think its pretty neat that she now possesses the rights to her own catalog, something incredibly rare in the industry that should be more common. I don’t care how many dudes she dates or how many songs she writes about them. After all, the rockers I’ve listened to all my life did pretty much the same thing (*cough* Fleetwood Mac *cough*) and have gotten nowhere near the flack she has for it. I also think she is a massive hypocrite for preaching about the effects of climate change while taking half-hour private jet rides to places she could easily drive. And that’s pretty much it.
Now, had I said any of that on social media, I’d immediately be blasted out the wazoo by the most rabid of Swifties for so much as touching on the negative opinions I have about their precious icon. I’d also probably be met with the Taylor haters who make it their entire personality to hate on her. Trust me, as someone who was never on the hype train and went through an intense music snob phase, I get where the latter are coming from, I really do. But here’s the thing; if you don’t like something, why spend that much time ruminating on it? Why not promote something you do like instead? Just some food for thought.
This is all to say that even something as simple as one’s opinion on a particular artist is met with foaming-at-the-mouth members of Gen Z who simply cannot fathom a nuanced opinion, or even a lack of a stance entirely. Her most savage of fans assume you hate her based on the tiniest bit of criticism you throw her way, and then if you have even the slightest positive, you are met with an equal and opposite reaction.
Conclusion: My fellow Gen Z, its time to simmer down and stop hating each other.
Whether we’re talking about our obsession with following aesthetics to a T, reciting the “correct” political jargon, liking the “right” entertainment, or heaven forbid faking mental disorders on TikTok, the through-line to every single discussion within the confines of this blog is one and the same; we have taken and ran with the desire to partake in self-care and self-love to the extent that we have become a largely shallow, virulent and narcissistic generation. When one jumps down the throat of someone who simply disagrees or does not partake in the same lifestyle as them, it is from a place of being unable to fathom any state of being differentiating from their own.
This is a result of multiple factors, including the increasingly large role social media has taken up in our lives, the mere fact that we live in such a highly polarized world in a general sense, and, yes, the culture we have cultivated for ourselves. It was not the boomers or millennials who forced us to invent ridiculous aesthetics to adhere to. They have not been the ones impelling us to attack one another on differing opinions or worst yet, hobbies. We have molded our own generation into the grotesque cesspool it is now. We have made ourselves into the entitled brats we are today, and we are the only ones who can fix that.
And I won’t claim to have the solution to this epidemic. I play instruments, write about whatever floats my boat, and sew the occasional band tee-backed flannel to sell on Etsy. I’m not the head of any social movement, nor am I important enough a person to be entitled to the following of others. But just for kicks, here’s my personal two-cents.
Let’s all just be a little less selfish and hateful. While we’re at it, we could even touch a little more grass. That’s all, peace out.
