Why Meditate?
Even if you like what I have to say, you’ll likely be too distracted to finish this article.
Inside most people’s heads there’s endless chatter going on.
Sometimes it’s one-off chatter that comes and goes. But often this conversation in our heads weaves into broader stories we tell ourselves.
The stories can be productive, “I’m great at Math”… they can be self-defeating, “I’ll never be enough”… they vary in size, intensity, complexity and many other factors. Sometimes they stay with us momentarily, but often they cling on for most of our lives.
But here’s a question: how often are you aware that a story is playing out in your head while it’s happening?
Really take a moment and think, how often do you have awareness of these stories, versus just following the script of them?
How often do you question the truth of these stories you tell yourself?
If your answers to these questions are “not often,” or “not at all,” you’re not alone. A lot of people say the same.
The thing is, many of the negative stories we tell ourselves wouldn’t hold up upon closer examination.
They are not actually true.
Which leads to a strange realization: so many people spend so much of their consciousness absorbing self-defeating stories that aren’t real.
People are torturing themselves everyday in their minds. Telling themselves things like…
“I have such bad luck. Of course that happened to me.”
“When I get [fill in the blank] I’ll be happy.”
“I’m going to screw this up again.”
“I am not worthy of love.”
“My life is off track.”
“I can’t trust myself.”
“If they really loved me they would do [fill in the blank] for me.”
“If they knew the real me they’d leave.”
“It doesn’t matter what I do, it never works out.”
And this just begins to scratch the surface.
But does it really have to be this way?
No, it absolutely does not.
Recognize The Influence of Your Past
Before we talk about changing the stories in our heads, let’s make a brief stop in considering where they came from.
The “Nature vs Nurture” argument has gone on for ages. Are we more influenced by our genes or our environment?
Most experts today would say both have a significant impact.
Now there’s a growing mountain of evidence that our personalities are mostly formed by a very young age (5–7 years old).
But think about this: you didn’t pick your genes, you didn’t pick your parents, you didn’t pick where you were born, you didn’t pick where you grew up, you didn’t pick how much money your family had, and you almost certainly didn’t pick what you experienced by the age of 5.
You didn’t choose your nature. You didn’t choose your nurture.
They just happened.
But here you are.
You live in a world in which all of these things that you didn’t choose have such a high degree of influence on everything that you are.
Many of the stories you tell yourself — good, bad, however you want to label them — have come about from circumstances that you did not consciously choose to happen, they just happened.
Maybe you’ve realized this before, maybe this is completely new information to you.
Either way, with this awareness, now you have a choice to make.
You can choose to let stories from the past continue to define you.
Or
You can break free from this human programming. You can create better stories for yourself, that will bring you a lot more joy and fulfillment than the ones that were handed to you.
Changing the Chatter
So how do we go about changing the stories? How do we improve our mental well-being by improving the quality of conversations going on in our heads?
There are actually a lot of ways to do it:
- Therapy/counseling
- Affirmations
- Clinical hypnosis
- A personal development program/event
- Self-help books/videos/apps
- Life-coach
- Support groups
The list goes on.
But one of the best and most cost effective and accessible ways? Meditation.
I once heard a story of a man that walked up to a guru and asked him, “why should I meditate?”
The guru answered, “Do you want to understand your mind? Then sit down and observe it.”
Which makes so much sense. This is what we do in nearly every field we are curious about; whether it’s the stars, or animals, or human behavior, when we’re curious we observe and learn. So why not with our minds?
There are lots of types of meditation.
But one of the simplest and most effective for developing the kind of awareness that will help you improve your mental chatter is “mindfulness meditation.”
To get started you don’t need a mat. You don’t need an orange robe. You don’t need to shave your head or move to the Himalayas. You don’t need a teacher (although it can be helpful). You don’t need much of anything really.
Mindfulness meditation is actually quite simple:
Step 1: Focus on your breathing.
Step 2: If thoughts interrupt the focus on your breath, acknowledge them and go back to focusing on your breath.
That’s it.
Commonly people sit down and close their eyes while they do this, but you don’t have to, and you certainly don’t have to chant “Om.” In fact, you don’t even really have to focus on breathing, you could focus on anything particular you like, but breathing has traditionally been a good starting point.
Don’t be fooled though: just because the process is simple doesn’t mean it’s easy. Try it for thirty seconds.
What most people find out relatively quickly is that thoughts come in to break your focus.
It’s a great illustration of how chaotic the mind can be. Even when you try to do a simple exercise like this the mind somehow gets in the way.
But the more you do it, the more you will improve. After all, that’s why they call it practicing meditation.
Eventually you’ll develop meta-awareness; the ability to be aware of your stream of thoughts as they happen, and how to shift that stream to better serve you.
You’ll find yourself being able to snap out of being lost in thought and running on auto-pilot. You’ll be more “present” to your life, and spend less time worrying about the past or future.
There are other benefits as well, but I’ll let you discover those on your own as you develop your practice.
What to Do Next
A word of caution. You’ll almost invariably run into problems meditating.
Again, it’s simple, but it’s not necessarily easy.
You may find difficulty in routinely developing a habit. Or dealing with intrusive thoughts that don’t seem to go away. Or wondering why you’re not becoming aware of the anxiety that constantly makes you think everything is going awry.
Start simple. Schedule five minutes in your day to meditate. Commit to trying this for the next seven days. Literally, open your calendar right now and schedule it, make it real. Set an alarm to remind yourself each day.
Ultimately experiencing is believing in this context.
There are lots of apps, videos, and courses online that can help you with meditation. But again, start simple. Just try it.
You always have with you all the tools you need to transform yourself. You can do it anywhere, at any time.
Just breathe.
