Elephants in the Room (and Crocodiles)
It’s the elephant in the room, where relations between transwomen and men are concerned. Almost without exception, the assertion is made that the men who like transwomen are straight. Yet when you talk to transwomen in private or read their blogs, a very different picture appears. Half at least of men who seek out transwomen far from being straight or anything close, are closet autogynephiliacs (and homophobic to boot).
We would not expect honesty from these men about this; after all, look at the lengths they go just to deny their own homosexuality and maintain a false facade of hetero-normativity. Their words may be taken with a moderately-sized bucket of salt. But what about the girls? Why do transwomen ever lend credibility to this falsehood? Why don’t they just call these guys out from the get-go?
It gets worse. These men — closeted homosexuals so deep in denial you’d think the crocodiles would have got them by now — insist on the highly offensive suggestion that everyone else who likes transwomen is like them. Oh they’re so straight they’re straighter than a very very straight thing indeed, with a load of extra straightness thrown in for good measure — or that’s what you’d think, listening to them.
I am, sadly, old enough to remember when being ‘straight’ meant you didn’t smoke dope or drop acid, and had fucking appalling taste in music. I never identified with that. ‘Straight’ just means ‘conforming to the socio-political and behavioural norms required by the patriarchal hegemony’. And I have never in my puff wanted to be a part of that, either. As far as my interest in transwomen goes, even though I relate to them in a completely conventional, hetero-normative manner (i.e. as women) I accept that I’m not straighter than straight, because actually liking transwomen, sticking up for transwomen and heavens-to-murgatroid being happy to be romantically involved with transwomen (one at a time), falls outwith the cultural norms of the patriarchy. It just does.
So how can a closet gay homophobe, whose only interest in transwomen is having his arse rogered till his liver squeals, call himself ‘straight’? Lying, two-faced, deceiving bastard, more like. And then they have the ever-loving nerve to dare to suggest that men like me are just the same as men like them? Nuts. We’re not and we never will be. Lie to yourselves as much as you like, boys, but don’t try to drag me in or I will call you out for the deceitful, manipulative pooves you are.
Now, I can understand the porn-meisters, who live off the sale of transgender wanking material, being a bit cautious about calling three-quarters of their audience raving pink pillow-munchers with sincerity issues, but why do the girls put up with their arrant claptrap?
Those who work in the sex trade, serving the desires of these men, can be understood. Their position is the same as the porn-meisters; they cannot afford to alienate the customer. No killing the goose here (and it is a goose, not a gander.)
But many transwomen who are not in this line of work routinely troop out the same apologia: ‘Only straight men like transwomen’. It’s utter bollocks and they will admit it in private. So why the pretence?
I think it has to do with validation. Perhaps the girls believe that if they are open about the fact that most of the men who seek them out are closet homos, then people might think they’re not actually women. No smoke without fire, after all, especially since these Lotharios, so desperate to get their arses plunged, clearly do not see transwomen as women, but as a type of male that can screw them without destroying their pathetic house-of-cards of denial. A transwoman’s primary purpose is to be accepted for what she is: a woman. She’s not going to jeopardise that, so she hides the nasty truth and goes along with the parody.
So when transwomen say, ‘You’re not gay if you like transsexuals’, they’re being economical with the truth. It doesn’t necessarily make a man gay, but that doesn’t change the fact that an awful lot of men who chase transsexuals are so. But that is a difficult distinction to make, and in a world that jumps on every opportunity to oppress transfolk, sometimes it seems safer not to give the enemy more ammunition.
These guys can be gay and I won’t care. Nobody ever did me any harm by being gay. If I dislike a few, it’s not because of their sexuality, but because they’re cunts. They’d be just as cuntish straight, probably more so. But at least, decent chap or slime-ball, they’re honest about what gets their freak going.
What pisses me off about these cock-loving pillow-munchers that pursue transwomen to satisfy their fetish (with full deniability) is their complete, total and utter dishonesty. These men are liars through and through and they should be called out at every turn.
Time for a breakdown
Originally published at Rod Fleming’s World.