Inside My Head

One thing falls off, the whole things get ruined

it’s been a couple years since the last time i feel everything so heavy and i’m at a point where i can definitely tell you that nothing makes me happy, i don’t feel like doing anything anymore. there are people out there who always said :

“I do care about this kinda situation”

but in fact, they’re not even close for what they said.

i think i was reach this place in the past three years, i do always manage all the stuff inside myself because i hate to fall back into old pattern of behavior. i can say that i lose my really close people and everything start struggling, not just at home, but also with my friends, my-self and all that kinda relationship.

i feel like my life got really weird and really hard at the time, and everything is stuck in the same place somewhere inside my head. i can say that i’m tired like i’m burned out, but down here i feel like i don’t want to do anything anymore, nothing makes me happy. what i see is myself just an empty body walking the earth.

i always have this kinda depressive side like i want to give up, if everything isn’t perfect or work the way it supposed to. it’s not like i want to kill myself, but it’s more like i don’t want to feel anything anymore.

My friend told me to take a time, to think.. then it comes to my free time then it ends badly. I chase myself around my head, i wind up feeling bad, alone, failing, shattered, drifting off every second, and perhaps most devastatingly, i found myself lacking in helping.

I know it’s something that i wish i could fix and leave it behind. But for me, life isn’t easy as everybody thinks. I know that because that’s the way I am.

As the time passed by, I feel like I’m going drown, like lost under the surface. These lacks of self-control slowly taking me down.

I don’t know what i was write down but i just trying figure it out how my life suppose to be

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.