A Story of a Fuck Off Fund
Paulette Perhach

A Fuck Off Fund is not enough

You are a grown-ass man (i switched gender, but same rules apply) now, you have your Fuck Off Fund of some dollars and it’s time to use it.

The Fuck Off

First you tell your stupid boss to fuck off, then your cheating girlfriend to fuck off as well. You tell literally everybody to fuck off and you buy a ticket to the other side of the country. Now you get the best room at the best hotel you can and open a bottle of champagne. That’s a nice story so far.

As you wake up you realize your fuck-of-fund is half of what it used to be and that you have no job, obviously no recommendation letter and you don’t ever know where you are. You get a nasty job and end up realizing you were better before using your special fund and fucking off your life.

Let’s start over

You have your fuck of fund, but you are really smart and you designed a Fuck Off Plan. You know exactly what to do and how to use your funds to find a confi life somewhere else. You handled out job applications and you know where to find a good apartment very far away, you know that your fund can cover travel expenses, 6 months of rent and food and you know you can get a decent job within weeks.

Now you are truly ready to face life and rebuild your fuck off plan and fuck off budget. The starter pack to get away must include, travel expenses (at least 100$), 3 month apartment, new clothing (at least two outfits, you don’t want to fuck off carrying all your wardrobe) and a little map with jobs you applied, companies you were interviewed and useful local stores.

Accessing your budget

Someone finding all this money, maps and paper at home is not really the best thing that can happen to you. So fist off you must find a way to hide these dark finances. A account on another bank is a good choice, and safe would be excessive but a supermarket locker with the maps and maybe a bag of clothes could be handful.

And maybe this is too much paranoia.

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