Online dating may be something on the increase in the 21st Century, but modes and wishes are still those back from the Middle Ages. The things I read, the failures and friendzones I faced made me build this impression.

The average male is still looking for more shape than content — more content might even be undesirable, as there will be a need of thought, too much effort! The average female may be independent, strong and active, but she will play the vulnerable damsel to fulfill her plans of being driven, catered, pampered by someone who must have the attitude.

The point here is that we know now that these gender roles are just social roles. Everyone may be independent, strong and active. Everyone must think and have attitude. Everyone wants to be driven, catered and pampered sometimes. So why can’t we be just natural and stop classifying such roles by gender?

But the theatre of masques goes on. Be beautiful — whatever sort of effort it might mean — and wait, if you’re a lady. If you’re a gentleman, be handsome, prepare your car (it’s pretty desirable to have one), have your set of empty praises — yes, empty: they’re ready and set for someone we don’t know before we know them -, remember the places around, have a wallet for two, and swipe. Mr Decision-Maker will have the wit to push the conversation until a meeting is set. He will basically pretend he decides, based on her (usually short) “yesses” and “nos”, signs that Mrs Vulnerable gives for him to “decide right” where to go and what to do. In a perfect meeting, Prince Charming will pick the Princess up, open the door, drive her to the exquisite desired place, answer on her behalf, pay the check and feel proud and privileged for it. As a gift (?!) they might spend the night together — and do you understand my (?!)? Is it indeed a gift? Isn’t it intended to be a pleasure for both? Is her body still a “passive prize” for someone who plays the role right?

At a time there’s long since we discovered we’re all much more alike inside our fights, hearts and wishes, it should sound at least awkward that such roles are still played — and wanted! — from online dating to the real world. I really hope someday we can be more natural, tell each other the people we are and fall in love with people that are more than role-models that fit social standards we didn’t actually choose.