Elegant Avoidance

Rosie Odsey
Sep 9, 2018 · 2 min read

I have been practicrastinating* hard. I’ve written project plans, refactored lists, watched videos on 3 different platforms, and heard 7 podcasts. While doing all of this was immensely gratifying and educational, it was actually just elegant avoidance.

(*Practicrastinating: doing things that technically count as productive to avoid the one thing you should be doing. This is a thing. Jump on board.)

The plan in all it’s glory is just this:

  1. Reach out to a handful of people to let them know I’m available for retainer work or projects
  2. Nah, it’s just step 1.

I’ve done a lot of thinking and talking to a wide range of people and here’s what it has come down to.

If I fail, I might fail publicly.

My brain is doing its job. It’s running a narrative that has protected me up until now.

We are wired to avoid rejection because if we’re rejected, the tribe will kick us out of the community and we’ll die in the wilderness.

My brain is avoiding this task because if I ask and I fail, I’ll be rejected, and then I’ll die.

Of course, this is not the actual case.

But while my worthiness is not inherently dependent on others’ abilities to accept me, it feels like it is. And so it is.

Despite knowing this, there is this wonderful truth:

What you avoid, you’re stuck with.

The need doesn’t go away, the more I avoid this.

In fact, the other side of this is that if I don’t ask, there is an even lesser chance of success.

We interrupt this article to show you how I whiteboarded this problem with one of my pit crew.

Between fight and flight, I default to fight.

Which means, if I’m looking down the barrel of a big, hairy, scary thing…I’ll project plan the shit out of it without actually doing it and I’ll feel like I’m moving forward. Let me tell you the real truth that has been staring me in the face:

Fear-driven work is not leading you to where you want to go.

I’ll keep you updated.

Rosie Odsey

Written by

Special ops consultant obsessed with living a great life.

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