PERHAPS THIS IS RIGHT….but with perspective and time, perhaps not so much.
I was the first in my family to break the tradition of being married to one woman for all time. The emotional turmoil that caused me was enormous: I tore up fourteen generations’ “standard”. But that’s irrelevant now as it really isn’t about me and never was.
It is my children for whom I have feared.
My daughter and I have been close from the moment of her birth. Now, finally I think she has it down pretty well, independent and beginning to display her belief in the strengths I knew she has always had. She and her husband are making a good life. I still worry for she seems drawn back to her past by some longing, or perhaps it’s guilt of some sort now that her parents are entering their end of days.
My son though, I still worry about. Mostly because of the little I know about him and his family. He at least is still with the one woman he married and their children are well growing. Yet the third hand snippets I know aren’t very satisfying. Perhaps his distancing from me is to keep any sort of infection from me from reaching into his home and life. Perhaps that works for him, and it is up to him.
I tried to teach both children a lot of things that I had learned and I guess I didn’t do so well. It was not entirely by my choice. From distance there was little I could do about the situation into which their mother put them.
In the end, I’d like to believe they both will be stronger for all of this. It would be nice to agree that the fate, future and well being of the broken-home child can be neatly summed up in eight well written paragraphs. But I doubt it.
One thing I know is that with seven decades of experience, the grand pronouncements I made in decade three didn’t survive at all as they appeared so strong and clear to me back then.