That Time I left the Perfect PB&J on the Table
By Arianne Shipley, CEO and Co-Founder of Rogue COE
I never realistically knew what I wanted to be when I was in my twenties. Sure, I had dreams of being the next Mariah Carey or Reba McEntire. I was going to be a veterinarian and save every animal I could. So far none of those dreams have happened yet. Instead, I found myself fresh out of college working as a municipal employee in a field I at least cared about — the environment.
Although enforcing environmental regulations wasn’t exactly what I saw myself doing, I allowed change to occur and kept myself open to new possibilities. Soon I switched to water utilities and fell in love. I fell in love not just with the product itself, but with the badass employees who made and delivered that product. My job was to market and promote water utilities and environmental services. I’m not an expert marketer. I didn’t go to school for communications. What I did do was throw myself in the trenches to learn all I could about the people who clean your drinking water and remove everything that goes down the drain and down the commode. Yep, ev-er-y-thing!
Water and the city I worked for became my home, my family, my safe zone. I loved (still love!) everything about it and everyone I worked with. Being a public servant was my jam. Building partnerships between the city and its residents and local businesses was the peanut butter to my jam. Casting a spotlight on all things water utilities and environmental services was the fresh sliced bread that brought all that love of community together. Mmmmm!! I never went hungry.
I took every chance I could to develop myself professionally and become the best leader, educator and steward possible. Despite all of that hard work and dedication, I felt like a fraud. I had so little confidence in myself. I was terrified to network with even my own peers. Sometimes I couldn’t even muster the courage to walk through doors of opportunity that were already open.
I know I’m not alone.
Many people are paralyzed with fear and allow anxiety to dictate their lives. Some people punch fear in the face (shoutout Jon Acuff). People like my badass friend @soul_trekker (name withheld, just follow her on Instagram.) She saved every penny from her well paying job, then quit said job to travel the world. She did what many aspire to but never act on. It was supposed to be for a summer — it’s been two years. While most of us just #YOLO on Instagram, she is truly living. She thought her path was in the financial world — turns out her path was to capture the beauty of our world and share it with all of us. This path became clear to her only when she was able to block out the noise created by fear and doubt.
I know that’s easy to say, harder to do. I know taking a leap of faith is hard, and that’s an understatement. I know because I left my safe little peanut butter jelly sandwich that I loved on a perfectly set table. The fear can be paralyzing. I have three babies under three. I have a husband running two small businesses in another city. My life is the definition of chaos. This time I decided I wasn’t going to stand outside an open door. This time, I gave my fear to God and walked through that door. I walked away from a secure, stable PB&J with amazing health benefits to pursue this path. Following a dream takes all of the cliche’, inspirational Instagram posts. What I’ve found to be the most valuable is supporting others as they take that leap. Strength in numbers because fear is really a coward. My world traveler taught me that. I recently received this message from her.
“I’m so proud of you, following your dreams/heart/passion! No risk, no reward. Take it from me, it’s scary, but I have no regrets taking a leap of faith and I know you won’t either. Life has a crazy way of working itself out, everything aligns even though sometimes the journey to get to that point makes no sense. You are an inspiration and you are blessed with an amazing support system. Never forget that.”
I get choked up every time I read that, especially at “you are blessed with an amazing support system.” I have no idea what the future holds for Rogue COE. I have no idea if we were brave or crazy. I do know I couldn’t have done it without an awesome support system — my husband, family, friends, former coworkers (aka the Dream Team.) I do know I have God guiding us, calming me in a way I never thought possible.
I know I’m doing this for a reason. That reason is still far ahead of me and blurry. I know this courage I’ve been blessed with is a responsibility and a gift I’m obligated to share. I have to believe that another sleep deprived, anxiety prone mom with a dream will read this and see her story in mine.
Hey, hypothetical mom reading this, this is for you. Stay open to things outside the box. Life never has to be “the way we’ve always done it”. Don’t accept that — challenge it! Those latent dreams buried in the demands of your everyday will begin to bubble to the surface. Paths will appear. Make the leap! Stay teachable and let kindness and gumption be your parachute and let God be the wind that carries you.
