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Good Or Bad, We All Are Guilty Of Letting Our Relationships Define Us

It is very common for us women to carry the burden of toxic relations till the very end, in the hope for some miracle. We tend to ignore the abuse that comes along with it. We are always seen as ‘sacrificing figures’ who should sacrifice everything about our identities and ‘focus on our families’. Why is this the norm? It takes a really long time to identify abuse in a relationship and stand up for ourselves.

People find it very easy to say, ‘You should have come out of it, when this particular thing happened.’ But is it really that easy, when you are the one who is personally going through hell? No, I am a feminist, who would never want anyone suffer in a relationship, yet, I let myself suffer for three years, assuming that it was me who needed to be fixed and not the patriarchal societal norms. …

Why does society assume that it’s their right to violate women who make choices for themselves?

Screenshot from YouTube

I finally watched Deepika Padukone’s Chhapaak. It is a story inspired by Lakshmi Agarwal, an acid attack survivor, and a fighter. It was powerful and thought-provoking.

The movie shows the ugliness of the society and how we place the whole identity of a woman on her external appearance; because of which, some men assume that attacking that appearance scars their existence. The movie focuses on the gruesome reality of increasing acid attacks in the country.

There’s something unique about Chhapaak. It doesn’t begin and end with the struggles of Malti alone but also sheds light upon the stories of various women who were affected by acid attack. …

The fire within her lit the lives of people who hadn’t seen the light in decades

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Source: Unsplash

Hopeful and happy,

about the new experiences to come

she set her foot into the outside world

she loved every bit of what she saw,

but only from afar

she craved to be a part of something,

something so special, that her soul tasted of it

She needed to be guided to her destiny.

With no clue that the world around her

was the best guide she could ever ask for,

she continued to look for something, to fill her heart

something to make her question

something to give her direction

something that introduced her to her own self!

In her journey, she came across…

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Smiling at the sunshine and hoping for a surprise, was how my days used to start

Through all the challenges life threw at me, I always emerged as a hopeful ray

Listening to broken hearts, feeling their pain

Giving them hope and having their back

All these attempts to understand eventually gone in vain

Today, stuck in my personal loop of hell,

I still make the same mistakes over and over again

Not one thing changes,

Funny how I always say 'this time it will be different’

And my destiny would just laugh in my face

I never realized what my soul actually…

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Source: Unsplash (Noel Nichols)

It came to an end

just like everything else does

Scattered into pieces and bits,

her soul

that she thought

was under her control,

was teetering

at the edge of a cliff

Closer to insanity,

away from hope

her soul led to nothing

but an infinite void

of emptiness, and loneliness

Only if she could figure

the source of her pain,

she would soothe it,

instead of trying to cloak it

with numbness and rage.

She knew that this was but

the end of an era

and that truth tore apart

any hope left in her

Every ounce of happiness and

self-confidence just rotted within

her heart, which drifted away into a

boundless sea

Into a boundless sea of mixed

emotions and misery

she wandered along empty

sinking in her own depths,

waiting for the light to fill her

soul again!

© Shaik Rohia Munavar

Stop asking me to have kids.

Man holding a woolen cap for babies, don’t ask someone when they are having a baby
Man holding a woolen cap for babies, don’t ask someone when they are having a baby

“Oops! I forgot to have kids” isn’t exactly the thought that comes to my mind when people, out of nowhere, ask me about my reproductive plans. I hear it from everyone these days : ‘Isn’t your biological clock ticking already? When are you gonna have kids?’ and many different forms of the same question.

Well, I am not against having kids. But I don’t need to be reminded by random people who have no idea about me and my life, about when it is the right time for me to procreate.

I am an average, career-oriented millennial, and have been married for about 3 years now. I am friends with at least 10 women who claim to be going through these thoughtless, or rather, rude questions very frequently in their lives. …

Suddenly everything in my life started to feel meaningless and grey. The thought of you not being here just made me feel like I was losing myself.

Person lying on road after a road accident
Person lying on road after a road accident

Death is so silent, yet so scary. The coldness and the emptiness we feel after losing people closest to our heart cannot be explained in words. While accepting the truth is considered the most painful part of dealing with the death of a loved one, seeing the world move on like nothing ever happened is another level of pain!

“Is this some kind of prank?”, I thought to myself, lying on the hospital bed, feeling tired and drowsy from all the sedatives. I tried to remember what happened but I just couldn’t.

After this episode, when I woke up, I found my parents sitting next to me. They were glad that I was up and was able to recognise them. Slowly the fog covering my memory faded. I remembered the road accident that I’d been in. …

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A company can look really terrific from outside, but only the employees working there can understand how their work-culture is and how it affects their performance at work as well as their career growth.

For example, Who wouldn’t want to be a part of a leading edge company like Amazon? But Amazon’s harsh work-culture has made headlines in the past few years. …

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Source: Rawpixel

“Stop saying you’re fat, you’re actually pretty”

“It must be hard to find a man tall enough to date you”

“Did you lose some weight? You look SO much better!”

“You look like a toothpick!”

“Why do you need to workout? You’re skinny!”

“If you want to get married, you must lose weight.”

Has anyone told something like this to you? Did you think that you deserve to hear something so uncomfortable because you don’t have the so called ‘socially acceptable body’? Then welcome to the club!

Not many of us really love the way we look. We are used to finding flaws in ourselves since a very young age. I am not any different. I do it constantly too. It’s like, how could I be happy with the way I look when there is a whole industry out there that survives on my insecurities about looks? …

The truth can tear me down but I refuse to feel guilty anymore!

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It is evident from the past few months that I’ve not been myself. Lately, I’ve started falling out of my regular routine and procrastinating a lot more than ever. I feel that nothing around me is ever going to change and my life is stuck in a rut. More than all these feelings, I feel that I deserve this constant disapproval from my inner-self.

Why? You would ask. Well, I have done a few things that I am not really proud of. I’ve made poor choices in life that led me to a dead end and an emotional breakdown.

If someone else confessed to me that they did what I did, it wouldn’t seem as big a deal to me. I’d go ahead and say “We are all human and who doesn’t make mistakes?” But for some reason, I am the hardest on myself. It always has to be either the best thing or the worst thing; there’s no in between for me. …


Rohia Munavar

A twenty-something Writer/ Inbound Marketer at Engagedly. Follow for thoughtful content on various aspects like feminism, writing tips, daily inspiration, HR

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