The Contortionist

Can you hear me?
 I drank today
 Perfected a suicide and didn’t ask for your say
 But it’s not the same
 I’d rather when we collapse in each others eyes
 Instead of death by tonic wine
 
 I’ll tell you a secret
 I’m a borderline case
 Incisions in my abdomen from being perched up on this fence
 But you left me there
 And I wanted to weave a pungent cocoon for us to sleep for all eternity
 Architected from what you thought you left of you in me,
 And you know what I mean

But the residue wasn’t strong enough,
 Wasn’t formed enough,
 And I can’t keep finding similarities in our identities anymore
 I’d rather hide in this cocoon all alone
 Hating myself for the seeds that I’ve sewn
 Envisioning your echoing groans
 As you slide through my crumbling bones
 I’ll lock myself single handedly in this fucking friend zone

I’ll punish myself
 I’ll trouble myself
 Swear my thoughts are fused together with yours
 Deny there’s a cure
 Impenetrable from external suffering
 Our interactions don’t make us human at all
 
 And I obsess over you for days
 Impulses shape and tarnish my actions
 So I dispose of you rapidly
 Without a flinch or a care
 Because there’s a void in my heart 
 And I’m climbing the chemical imbalances of my brain
 A heightened sensitivity to these feelings
 And failed attempts to keep a walking contradiction at bay
 Dizzied but attracted by the cravings to stray
 You’re my communion but I’ll cover the trace
 
 Because nobody can deal with the wreckage an exploding life can cause
 So lets see how you cope when faced with a loss

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