The Rolling Sage
Jul 24, 2017 · 5 min read

Dial up Your Light!

Davidji, one of my mentors, often says, “From Dimmer to Shimmer!”

As you may be able to glean on your own, he was talking about the inner light that shines through a person’s eyes — or doesn’t. Most of us start out with that eager awareness — that light that shines on everyone and everything.

If you’ve ever seen a baby smile (and who hasn’t) it’s like a mini beacon; unaffected, forthright, and just plain joyous! It’s a new world for them; new people; new everything. From the dark and quiet womb, they emerge into a kaleidoscope world of color, sounds, and smells. There are so many things to grab their attention; so many things to taste, touch, see and hear. One of my favorite things to do as a mother was to spoon a new food into my baby’s mouth and watch their face for the reaction, which was usually priceless. Eyes would light up, nostrils would flair and then came the grin of satisfaction, or the look of disgust as the pureed carrots or beets would be ejected, in no uncertain terms. They had no trouble expressing themselves. They knew what they liked, they knew what they wanted and demanded it without a word. Their light shined on everything and everyone. Babies take full advantage of choosing what makes them happy and what doesn’t. A definite personality soon begins to form, talents began to surface and it’s delightful to watch.

But all too soon, once we walk out our front door, the freedom of self-discovery is relegated to a back burner to make room for reading, writing and ‘rithmatic. These necessary, and mostly enjoyable, subjects take priority over building the world’s tallest building out of ABC blocks, or “feeding” and bathing a Betsy Wetsy doll (I’m giving away my age).

Once in school, restrictions begin to descend upon us; “you can’t play on a school ball team without the appropriate letter on your report card,” is one. You can’t be on the debate team, even though you have a lot to say. Skill and desire can be overshadowed by grades in math or history. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up. For various reasons, grades may suffer and, soon, demeaning slights by school mates, even instructors, can cause a child’s light to begin to dim. Cliques begin to form according to whose family is wealthy, whose isn’t; who got the highest letter on their grade card; who can afford to wear the latest styles and who can’t. Now, instead of individuality, comparison begins to creep in, and the light grows dimmer.

Most of us make it through high school, even college, but that dream born of childhood confidence now follows us around like a specter. Our education got us “a good job,” and we did get that raise; we married; had children, but the dream, the real dream of a lifetime, has all but disappeared beneath the mortgage, car payment, and the noble task of feeding and caring for the upcoming generation. By now our light has dimmed even more and might even be on low beam. A shadowy ghost called self-doubt haunts our days and nights.

Besides the daily mingling with fellow employees and/or PTA parents, there are the constant television ads that tell you, in the words of Austin Powers, “you’re not worthy.” Every ex model in America (maybe the world) peers out from your television screen, your computer or your “smart” phone to sell you their “secret sauce,” the one that will make age disappear, will make you look twenty years younger, the one that will make you worthy.

Since my heart attack several months ago, I’ve come to realize the importance of finding and choosing my own life’s path. I was brought up walking a thin line between my Father’s family’s Spanish heritage, and my Mother’s country gypsy culture. I found the country gypsy lifestyle more colorful, more appealing, more open and relaxing. Their general attitude was, “do what makes you happy.” Some of my Spanish relatives now remind me of the story told by the Persian poet, Hafiz. In essence, he wrote; “The small man builds cages for everyone he knows. While the sage, who has to duck his head when the moon is low, keeps dropping keys . . . for the beautiful, rowdy Prisoners.”

At a very young age, I married. My husband, unbeknownst to me at the time, was a very controlling and possessive person. I, on the other hand, was a rowdy prisoner. I felt like a firefly who’d been caught in a net and placed in a jar, my light displayed to no one but him. As the years passed I began to suffocate in that jar, my light growing dimmer still, with each passing year. Just when I felt the jar would be my demise, I found a key, dropped, no doubt, by the sage. While the rest is history, the best is yet to be. I tell this part of my life story only because, upon escaping the jar, I have found many more rowdy prisoners locked in, or newly escaped, from their jar.

What if you could turn the dimmer switch up and get your light back to full beam? Back to where it was when you believed you could do anything; to when you never thought that you were any less than anyone else. Would you be able to go from dimmer to shimmer? Let’s try.

Turn off the TV. Take some time to be with yourself, at your real age. Close your eyes; listen to some inspirational music; see the still beautiful/handsome self that lives inside you; let the stillness and silence settle in, and see the wonderful individuality of yourself. Know that you’re the only person like you on the whole planet! Something all babies seem to know intuitively. Find the you that might have been lost through negative programming. Maybe even meditate. There’s no magic about it, except that the meditative silence does seem to clear the chatter out of your head. It’ll open your heart, too. I guess when my Mom said, “silence is golden,” she was right. In time, you’ll find the you that you were meant to be. Look for a sage key. Open the jar and let yourself out.

When confronted with a negative person or situation, Dr. Wayne Dyer, author and philosopher, (another one of my mentors) would quietly say to himself, “what you think of me is none of my business.” A good adage we can all adopt.

Imagine if we all turned our light up — went from dimmer to shimmer. We might light up the whole planet! We might even find something that’s been lost for years — our self. Light up! Find yourself in the silence.

Light and Love,

The Rolling Sage

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The Rolling Sage

Written by

Through a compilation of writings I hope to inspire others. These writings represent life lessons I have learned and continue to refine within myself.

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