A good weeks exhaustion

I went to work on Monday. I went home exhausted. I went to work on Tuesday, Wednesday, a 6 hour presentation. I went to work on Thursday. By the time I got home, I was already crying.

I love my work. I love my co-workers and my leaders and the coffee in the vending machine. I love the stupid puns tossed in the corners. 
The pride I carry in connection to this oddly specialized and specific work that surrounds me, is so closely connected to the people that are a part of it, that I am prone to believe that all these boring and mundane specifications can be considered to be specialized, only because of the people that breathe it to life. Every day.

There is a special kind of sorrow belonging only to the feeling of exhaustion caused by giving your all to what you believe in. This type of sorrow amplifies, when shared with people that make you want to smile. Every day.

We have a sign at our workplace saying “You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ll train you”. It is the perfect representation of the whole sum of our team. From top to bottom, we are good. We are many pawns in singular, but we play like Bobby Fischer plays when the queen is dead (long live the queen!). And most importantly, we are allowed to be ourselves. We are allowed to be weak and strong. We are allowed to be comfortable in our own skins, no questions asked. We are respected as freaks and geeks and straight edgers. Never in spite of!

I went to work today. I was exhausted and remembered so all too well yesterdays tears. I went to work and there were a lot of crazy happy people there. They were smiling and stressing and working and laughing and talking and asking for my help. But I didn’t help them much today. Today, they helped me, when I needed them most. They tend to do just that.

Today, we all did things we had never done before. We do this every day, and even when it hurts as hell, we still continue to try. We all have our reasons to try.

I went home today with a profound understanding in my heart. I love my work. I love it, because although it often drains me, I keep some of my finest hours and weirdest friends there.