During the often years-long stretches I’ve lived with my parents, I haven’t paid rent or any bills; if I offer to pay for something beyond “I’m running to the pharmacy, can I pick anything up for you,” the offer is waved aside. (I throw the “would be rent” money into extra student debt payments and/or a savings account.) It would be the same if they were living with me; if I’ve got the space and family wants it, ok. I’ve lived with my uncle that way too; my cousin has lived with my parents; my father in law has lived with me; my husband has lived with his brother.

We all pitch in when it comes to home repair and cleaning and general maintenance and childcare. We normally all do our laundry seperately, because we all have different laundry strategies.

It would feel really awkward to do it another way. I never got an allowance either; if you’re part of the family, you get food and a place to sleep, no questions asked as long as you’re pleasant to everyone else and don’t run up a weird long distance bill or something. We’d be living together right now if we were in the same city. When we’re not under the same roof, I miss them.