Hiiii, me.
garli
11

Ooof. That’s rough. I guess I had a similar but inverse experience. I mentioned that I volunteered to fly in my best friend for my wedding; that was my second wedding. (First marriage ended in divorce.) Both were very low-key affairs, and in both cases the time between “we’re getting married” and “we are married now” was around a month.

At the time of the first one, my best friend lived literally the other side of the globe, and there was no way she could manage the flight back without major financial strain, nor did I expect her to, even though she’s obviously the person I would most want to be anywhere I am in all circumstances, including but not limited to weddings. I think there was a 12-hour time difference between where we lived at that point, and neither of us had any money. She was paying down student loans teaching abroad; I was getting married partly because of financial incentives. (Not that I didn’t love the guy, but we could have been in love without getting married. Getting married meant we could rent much cheaper apartments, based on our state’s housing law.)

After the wedding, my friend staged a tongue-in-cheek “don’t get married without me again” protest march with handmade signs and sent me photos. It was pretty hilarious and obviously done with love as a way to emphasize how much she would have liked to be there, and she never complained about it beyond those photos. But for my second wedding, several years after having divorced the first guy when we both wanted to go to grad school and neither of us wanted to move for the other one’s career or cosign the other one’s loans — point taken. Don’t get married without her again. Done.

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