How honest am I to myself?

I am a questioner. So much so that, I can’t act until I hear the answer to my Why? question. Anyone who knows me can tell about me. The questions I ask myself and the people around me are usually dominant, disturbing and thought-provoking. It doesn’t sound nice. I am working on being provocative without being assertive.

Being an individual asking questions also teaches to ask the right questions, over time and gradually.

Questions are the way to gain deeper knowledge and develop more innovative solutions. You can always get better answers by asking questions. So why do we stop asking questions?

As growing as age or position, we stop asking questions or expect to find the best possible question we can ask. Because we think we know the basic things of life, and over time, instead of learning new ones, we become lazy. We accept our assumptions correctly, since those assumptions have brought us so far. Besides we get anxious asking the question aloud. The ego awakens and prevents me from the question itself by arising the evil nature of asking it. Our ego outweighs and creates an illusion that I humiliate myself by asking questions. How stupid!

As the management executives stop asking questions, they stick like a glue to their seats with uncertainty deep in their eyes, scaring to be fired one day. In fact, by asking questions, they would be growing in their positions, expanding their shadows.

There is a problem: you lost the ability to ask bold questions because you stopped asking simple questions.

Paul Slone has exquisite writings and reference books on asking questions. I suggest to follow him to learn the mastery of asking questions.

I am writing about asking questions to seek answers to my two basic questions:

  • how honest am I to myself by asking questions?
  • can we find a better solution to the future by asking questions?

I’m working on these two things right now.

Myself in the mirror

The most important questions in life are what we have to ask ourselves. We can not expect the answers to these questions from others.

Basically good question patterns are 7 types: “Who”, “What”, “When”, “Where” “Why”, “How” and “Which”.

The good question is the one who makes you ruminate on, the one who makes you ask new questions. It is just compelling.

Here are some of my questions I work on:

  • What is my biggest self-limiting belief?How can I unleash myself?
  • What would I like to stop worrying about? What steps can I take to let go of the worry?
  • What kind of person do I enjoy spending time with?
  • How can I be a super listener?
  • What can I do to be healthier?
  • If I could go back and fix a relationship with someone, who would it be and why?
  • How am I fully present with the people I love when I’m with them?
  • How do I feel about my last mistake and which lesson did I take from it?
  • If a relationship or job makes me unhappy, do I choose to stay or leave?
  • What are the things I can do to improve my life and business, but don’t have the confidence to take action? Am I willing to do so?
  • What’s the one thing I’d like to do less of and why? How can I make it possible?
  • Which role does compassion play in my life?

Asking the right questions is often more important than getting answers.

I may not find the answers to these questions, I do as much as I can. Asking the question ignites the fuse. The unanswered are in the back of my mind. At any time, a spark can strike in an irrelevant state, and I find my answer to the question. The answer I find sometimes does not satisfy me, not because it must be perfect but the answer raises a new question and I go deeper. This conveys me in a terrific self-discovery process. The answers I’m satisfied with are now the truths that I enjoy to the hilt.

Ansı Rona-Bayıldıran

Written by

CX | DT | AI , digital nomad, curious being, Montessorian mum of 3, critical thinker, idea catalyst, early adopter, servant leader, founder of @Tinderboxt.

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