Heather. My heart hurts for what happened. But you sound strong and appear to have confronted this horrific demon. I have been married twice, and learned belatedly that both women had been in circumstances you have described. Neither have been able or willing to confront this issue, and like the the unhealthy parrot in the jungle appear outwardly as if it never happened. But I was unable to help, and we are no longer together. The ripples spread outward.