All my mother’s relatives lives were ‘extinguished’ during that dark time in Europe — I have tried to trace them through the genealogical websites and various synagogues but have had little luck. Southern Italy and Greece was not as organized as Northern Europe in terms of record keeping at that time. I continually wonder as I became older about who they were or what they did and how I would have interacted with them? But I never had the chance to celebrate holidays, birthdays or Shabbat with them.

The irony is, in my personal instance, that because of ‘losing the relative connection’ I drifted out of my culture and into the melting pot the world has become. Because of this I did not marry a Jewish woman (although I love my children dearly) and I feel like the ‘last of the Mohicans’ because I am truly the last of my line (whatever the ‘line’ was).

This might seem a little ridiculous but I also feel I am letting all those people whom I never knew down by not procreating within my ethnic/religious group and my selfish act has wiped out the very meaning of their existence.

I really wish I could honor all my forebears in the way that Jennifer has shared and be able to know a little bit about each one of their lives. There are times when I feel like a shadow that will disappear when the sun sets.