The brutal hardship of a man who plays video games.

Do you have any fucking idea what it is like to be me?

To look forward to going home every single day with the sole intention of playing video games?

You think you have a clue, but you don’t.

You think it sounds great, but it isn’t.

Every single day I suffer the plight of wanting to rush home and play games while in reality I list for hours on end struggling to decide what to play.

Its my daily battle. My cross to bear, my vice.


Everyone can always trace their struggles back to a starting point.

The day AFTER your life was perfect.

Mine was March 18th 2014, precisely 9:43 am.

I received my first paycheck from my first job out of University.

Once I had paid all my bills, my bank account looked nothing like it had ever looked before.

It looked full.

What remained could only be described as…..

‘surplus’.

I was elated, ecstatic, excited.

I thought to myself;

This is it.

I have made it

I will never suffer again.

Boy oh boy oh boy was I wrong.

So…. fucking…. wrong….

It took about four months for my curse dressed as a blessing to plant its seeds and ruin me.

I bought things….. Christ I bought everything.

I mean why wouldn’t I?

I bought games for my 3DS, my Vita, and other home consoles.

Then I discovered PC building….

I was such a fool.

Four years later. I have it all.

The beefiest gaming PC. The Nintendo Switch. The latest smartphone and access to a PS4 and Xbox One.

You would think I would be heaven.

You want to be me. I can feel it.

You think I would be playing video games non stop until I passed out from sleep deprivation.

No.

You would be wrong.

Showing once again, you don’t understand what I’m going through.

When the GPU alone cost $800 (NZD) you don’t want to waste that glorious processing power on anything that isn’t going to validate your purchase.

So I’m stuck playing only AAA titles that I know are going to make my PC suffer.

And I hear you, I can here you saying:

“you can play whatever you want”

“You can play minecraft in a windowed resolution without any mods”

To that I reply: I can also shit in the street.

You don’t understand how your poverty keeps you happy. I know you are stuck with one console and a PC that can run paint.

Don’t you see…. Your limitations are your salvation!

The real suffering comes when you love more than one thing at a time.

Try having two separate devices to play games on.

You mortals could not possible comprehend such a thing.

It hurts…. a lot.

I’m constantly torn between my Nintendo Switch and my PC.

And don’t get me started on any other hobbies like reading.

I have ascended, that stuff is beneath me.

I constantly feel like a kid in the candy shop. All the choice in the world, but I have only three minutes to decide and the rest of my life to regret that decision.

And I can hear you… again.

Telling me that I don’t have three minutes. That I can play one of them now and the other one will still be there later.

I hear you suggest that I can alternate between devices. Like a kid with divorced parents too cowardly to pick the favorite.

But I need you to stop.

One doesn’t make such decisions lightly.

It causes wrinkles.

So I need you to spare a thought for me.

Sometimes being better, hurts.

I only ask that those who want to help me out…..

Makes the cheques out to cash.

I don’t fuck around with this give-a-little nonsense.