I thought I was damaged goods but your mental health doesn’t define you
I have complex PTSD. For so long, I thought I was damaged goods and fucked up and unhealthy emotionally.
But your mental and emotional health struggles don’t define you.
When you struggle with mental and emotional health issues like depression, PTSD, anxiety…and you think…
“I’m damaged goods”…
“I’m a failure”…
“I’m weak and inadequate”…
“Others can figure it out and I can’t”…
Those are just thoughts. They are not the truth about you. Our thoughts are not facts about us, our capacities or who we are. They are just sentences in our brain. They are stories.
You can always choose a different story about yourself. A different thought that makes you feel compassion towards yourself and have your own back when you are going through a rough time or experiencing intense emotions.
Our brain is an amazing salesperson. It will collect evidence to prove that you are a failure and inadequate for struggling with mental and emotional issues.
When your brain offers those thoughts to you, remind yourself that those are just thoughts. They are not true even if they sound so true.
When I go through depression or my complex PTSD is triggered, I remind myself that I’m going through a human experience and there’s nothing wrong with me. I remind myself that I’m a human and I’m not damaged goods.
When I do that, I treat myself with kindness. I ask my body what it needs me to do to take care of it and have my own back. I listen to what my body tells me and I do it.
I allow myself to fall apart, rest, be slow and just be…be in what is…without trying to achieve or getting anything done or pushing myself to feel better.
There’s nothing wrong with you if you struggle with mental and emotional health issues.
There’s nothing wrong with you when you fall apart. There’s nothing wrong with you when you feel depressed or anxious.
You are already complete and worthy of love.
Your mental and emotional health issues are part of your human experience. It doesn’t mean that there’s nothing you can do about it. There are many life coaching tools (I mentioned some of these tools here in this article) that you can learn to help navigate your human experiences and mental and emotional challenges that come your way. Those tools can absolutely make a huge difference in your life.
Go into your healing journey from a place of “I’m already complete and worthy of love and I’m doing this because I want to learn how to navigate my human experience and feelings and thoughts”….not from a place of “I’m damaged and I need to fix myself”.
You are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. Your humanness is not damaged.
So, here’s a summary of what you can do when you struggle emotionally and mentally so you can treat yourself with kindness instead of shame and criticism:
1. Remind yourself that what your brain is telling you about yourself is just thoughts and those thoughts are not facts or the truth about you.
2. Have a conversation with your brain “No, brain. I’m not a failure or fucked up. I’m not broken. I’m already complete and worthy of love. I’m a human and I’m just going through a human experience.”
3. Ask yourself “hey love, what do you need me to do for you today to help you and have your back?” Be silent for a second and listen for the answer and then do it. The answer could be that you need to take a day off and treat yourself for lunch, go for a walk in nature or binge watch your favorite show.
These simple tools can transform your life.
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