Why I'm Using My Left Hand To Masturbate
(First, I must apologize for my messy handwriting in this article; I am also using my left hand to type this out)
Impulse control is something I have a lot of difficulty with. One moment I'm content, enjoying life with my massive (very girthy) willpower, and the next I'm shoveling cookies down my throat like I'm an addict on Sesame Street. Fortunately, I'm a genius and I can get twice the taste for none of the calories. Yay eating disorders!
Naturally, I want to fix my random acts of self-sabotage. But holy crap is it difficult! I practice meditation, conscious breathing, and regularly exercise (all of which can greatly help control our impulses), but all my intentions go right out the window once my wonderful cycling moods send me into an unending void of self-loathing.
I feel like a crazy person, mostly because I actually am a crazy person. But, that has not stopped me in the past! I still fight to make my life what I want it to be. So what if aliens are forcing me to pleasure myself against my will? I can always use magick to tip the odds in my favor!
Magick (n) - the field of study involving making changes to our inner world, to result in changes in the outer world
As complex and mysterious as our brains may be, they are still made of mechanical components. Being aware of this, we can consciously take advantage of various phenomena to manifest the life we desire. Some people call these sorts of things "brain hacks."
Those people clearly have never studied alchemy, because they would realize these sorts of tricks have been employed by the wise for ages.
I recently read that doing things with your non-dominant hand can increase your impulse control. The underlying premise is that the act of being mindful to break one’s habits is exercise for using self-control. Just as running can increase our endurance, consciously creating a workout for our brain can train it to be better at various tasks. I’m also finding that it is great practice for my patience, because autocorrect is really testing the limits of what it takes to get me to throw my phone out a window.
Additionally, I have found that switching up the small things in life can give you greater satisfaction. To my understanding, the underlying psychology behind this premise is based on the idea that the brain naturally filters out familiar stimuli. If you’ve ever worn an itchy sweater, you have directly experienced this phenomena. You may have noticed that as you go about your day with the sweater on, you eventually stop noticing the itchiness of it. This is known as habituation.
If we're always going through a routine in life, doing things the same way, then life gets dull fast. We will literally be ignoring a majority of our existence by running on autopilot. Doing things just a little differently tricks our brain into paying more attention to our experiences, making them stand out as more stimulating, and thus more rememberable.
The brain's funny this way, but it makes sense. It is constantly bombarded by an insane amount of information, so in order to make sense of anything important to survive, it has to turn much of that information into white noise. This is why we can't recall all the trees we see during a stroll through the forest, but we can remember the few animals we encountered. And, if we happened to stumble across a naked clown in a forest clearing, we will remember that sight for the rest of our lives. The more odd something is, the more it stands out against the even background.
This type of brain hack can be utilized by savvy alchemists to increase their ability to learn. By studying in different locations/environments, sitting or lying in different positions, and with different ambiance (like listening to different music), you can make that information you're absorbing more sticky in your memory. Trust me, if you bring that study material on your first skydive, you will definitely remember the notes you reviewed.
(Also, be a real friend and terrorize those you love to help them remember important events and facts!)
Furthermore, this goes hand-in-hand with my personal philosophy that free will is a skill. This is the idea that if we walk down a new road everyday, eventually we will be able to navigate to any destination. If we regularly shake up our day-to-day, then we will be maximizing our growth through novel experiences. If we are constantly pushing our boundaries, then we will never stop evolving and adapting to our ever-changing world.
Doing something new can be scary. Strange things tend to be filled with unknowns which our minds don’t like. But, all it takes is a little bit of conscious conditioning to change that! I’m training my mind to enjoy the strangers life sends my way by sitting on my left hand before masturbating. It really feels like someone else is doing it! And it’s that openness to experience which will free us all from the habits which keep us from actualizing our dreams. Don’t be afraid to break out of the familiar; just be safe while stretching yourself to see what’s really holed up inside yourself.
