Rosa F. Brissos
Sep 6, 2018 · 5 min read

Every once in a while my soul screams for adventure, for uncertainty for the unknown.

I’ve always navigated through the realms of my imagination, in the most astonishing fantasy worlds I’ve brilliantly created in my mind. But this time I needed something different, I was craving for the kind of growth and expansion that relies in a totally different realm, starting in the physical and moving on to other more interesting ones I’ve been contemplating for so long.

I was craving to push-pass the limits of my comfort zone. A comfort zone that became suffocatingly comfortable and that was shrinking me.

I felt the need to break all those limiting walls. I needed to explore every single boundary of it, welcoming every single thing that this process conveys, with all the excitement and the fear, embracing the darkness and the light.

So last weekend I have closed one of the hardest, but the most beautiful chapters of my life. And jumped in an exciting adventure. A brand new journey.


Once a soul traveler and friend told me ‘since I met you, you’re always freaking out’. And I never realized that. It was the first time someone pointed that out for me. Since one year ago I’ve been in a constant ‘freaking out, oh boy, oh boy’ state of mind. And that’s the state I want to be in, forever. Ok, let me reframe that. I’ve learned to be careful about what I put out, in terms of words, feelings and wishes. So here we go:

I want to live with the wondering eyes, butterflies in my stomach, a heart that is overflowing with gratitude, love and passion and my soul on fire!

In order to do that, nothing is better that embrace all the changes, let go of my old self and embrace this whole new chapter I’m about to tell you about!


One year ago one of my soulmates and soul sister pointed out that I didn’t knew how to ask for help and was closed to receive. That shocked me!

I was in denial until I embraced the truth: I was a full-time giver and receiving was almost impossible, to the point that people felt rejected by me. The much I set with the idea, the more evidences I would find in every single aspect of my life.

That said, I’ve came to the conclusion that one of the keywords of this new chapter will be receive, alongside with letting go and surrender.

It’s time to receive. To passionately embrace a brand new chapter, full of wonders, where learning how to receive, how to embrace the my own power, how to surrender and how to accept all aspects of the feminine energy are in order!


This chapter started alongside with this new month, September.

As always, when I have a moment by myself, just before the overthinking and analyzing kicks in, I do some gratitude exercises, and while doing it I’ve spotted some interesting feelings that were evolving inside me. Upon reflecting on them while calmly gazing at the breathtaking mountains that surrounded Geneva, trying to understand what was happening inside I got another a-ha moment. It hit me and I finally understood why I was so much out of balance I’ve been in the lab these days.


You know, I have never saw myself as an intelligent person. But at the same time it was so hard for me to admite I didn’t know something.

I would be so ashamed of my ignorance. As if not knowing something would make me less that what I was and I would punish myself for that. I was so afraid that people got disappointed at me and thought I was stupid.


I’ve been hard on myself, over and over again because I thought I had to be intelligent, sound intelligent. Everything I knew was never enough. And thoughts like ‘it’s not enough, I am not enough, I have to know more’ always popped up in my head. I was trying so hard because I have never believed in my potential and I’ve always allowed my impostor syndrome to kick in.

I became my worst enemy and allowed me to bully myself and was ok with others not treating me the way I deserved. Allowing their opinions to define the image I had of myself.

I recently found out that I was, secretly, waiting to be discovered, to be seen, to be validated. Let’s be real: I still am, form time to time. This self discovery and personal development journey is a never ending story and has been the most incredible thing I have ever done. I’ve learned so much and I have a long way to go. And this takes me to the yesterday’s realization: I still carry residues of these insecurities, and that was the reason I’ve been feeling so out of balance.

Oh this bitter sweet felling: the fear of people judging me, of disappointing others. I know I’m starting from scratch, in a new field. But once I arrived to the lab, traces of that voice started echoing again in my head: ‘I should know more, I should be more’.


Remember what I said before regarding the fact that I have to be careful of what I wished for?

This made me smile so much and be grateful for having exactly what I asked for!


How incredible is this?

I am so proud and happy that I can start from scratch, that I am in a totally new field, with a ton of new things lo learn, totally out of my comfort zone. And let me tell you how this uncomfortable zone looks like: new techniques, new equipments and proteins to explore. I am where I wanted to be, doing what I love the most: I am that kid again, playing with totally different toys, in a playground where everything is new and completely different from what I am used to. And somehow I am confusing the feeling of excitement with fear, letting the residual echo take advantage of my unbalanced state and letting that feed my ego that thinks I am a finished piece, a fixed mindset PhD that learned everything and as consequence I should know more, I shouldn’t ask, I should be at full speed from day zero!

My ego is again that small kid that is afraid of rejection, afraid that the other kids in the playground will not play with him. What a fool.


I took a deep breath and I repeated to myself:

‘I am not here to be comfortable, I am here to disturb and I constantly ask to be disturbed.

I want you to disagree with me. I am here to tame my ego, to enjoy the ride with him as a copilot. I am here to play with fire, to get burned and to try again, with the same exitment, curiosity and without fear.

I am the kid with wondering eyes, the passionate woman that has constantly butterflies in her stomach, the heart overflowing with gratitude and love and the soul on fire!

I am here to transform and be transformed along the process. I am here to create one of the most beautiful chapters of my life and to love every single second of it!’

Let’s explore and co-create this chapter together.

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