Love Yourself First Before Loving Others

Perth, Australia [photo by Rosalind Hong]

Love. Falling in love. Hurting from love. Love is definitely a bittersweet experience. I often read about how you should always learn to love yourself first before you learn to love others. Never understood what it meant till recently. If you’re like me who is constantly putting others first before yourself, you’d know that it’s not easy to comprehend the meaning of self love.

Ten years was how long it took me to realise that I was in a toxic relationship. To be honest, I wouldn’t have realised it if it weren’t for him. He who saw me grow from a girl into a lady. He who promised to love me for who I am, for my strength and flaws. He who promised forever. He was toxic. Over the years, I thought that doing what makes him happy would mean that I would be happy too. I thought that by supporting him in fulfilling his dreams and understanding him and his needs, he would do the same for me. He will always be remembered as the man who taught me what self love is. It is never too late to tell yourself to….

….not lose who you truly are for it would be an uphill task to find your true self again
….not change yourself for anyone unless it’s for the better of a relationship and yourself
….not stop believing in yourself no matter how discouraging your partner can be at times
….not blame yourself for not realising how much you’ve hurt yourself

I don’t think I ever hated him nor did I blame him for what has happened as I believe that everything happens for a reason. It has made me a stronger person. My heart is still bursting with lotsa love and happiness because I now know how to love myself. I know that the next time my heart floats in happiness for a man, he will be the one I would learn to trust my heart with ; telling him, “Thank you for loving me for who I am”