photo from Human Unlimited

I am more

than how he treated me

even if I didn’t know it at the time.

I am more

than the biting words

disgusting

crazy

than the subtle insults

and the insinuations of my guilt.

I am more

than my body

limp and lifeless

trapped.

I am more

than I was at 14.

I am more

than the hidden manipulation

maybe not so discreet

but invisible to my freshman brain.

I am more

than the girl who did whatever

just to make him stay

even if she couldn’t watch

i couldn’t watch

while I did it.

I am more

than a victim of a man

a victim of expectation

a victim of my inability

to scream

I am more

than some slut

like he told the whole band.

I am more

than my body

I am more

than my matching bra and underwear

I am more

than the swing of my hips

I am more

than my trembling hands

I am more

than my eyes turned away

I am more

than your toy

I am more

than the stupid

tourist trap vacation shirt

bullshit of your words

“what’s the best way to give a handjob? use your mouth: Cancún México”

your saturated misogyny

I am more

than your sorry soul.

I am more

than my abuse.