Is it really that obvious?

Obvious is one of those stupid words with way too many silent letters that used to confuse the life out of me as a kid. I mean who puts a ‘b’ and ‘o’ in a word unnecessarily. It’s almost the same as awkwardly trying to walk in two pairs of shoes on your wedding day — you just wouldn’t. So who do I contact to change the spelling to ovius? Oxford dictionaries — I might open a huge can of worms. Why can’t English be phonetic like Italian — photo is foto — doesn’t that make sense?

Admittedly, obvious is one of my favourite words when I’m being a smart ass to boofy. It’s the best pretext to sarcasm, like when I tell him the picture he’s hung up crooked, is obviously straight while my neck is cranked to the right. Or when he’s put on weight and I tell him his jeans obviously fit perfectly and shouldn’t split, while holding a needle and a thread.

So me…

So basically I use it for the complete opposite of its exact meaning, I mean sarcasm is in my blood — how boring would life be if I didn’t use it. Oh, I should tell you the exact dictionary meaning of obvious: easily perceived or understood; clear, self-evident, or apparent. Just like the English language — there I go again with my sarcasm.

Now, for some reason lately, I’ve noticed people using obvious when something isn’t obvious. I ask myself are they using the word out of habit or just because they don’t know another way to articulate themselves. Actually, I’ve worked it out, maybe people think I’m super smart, the boof head’s made me resemble Einstein, I get it now.

Ok, before I jibber on any longer and lose you completely, I’ll give you an example. We recently went into Carpet Court wanting to learn more because we have no idea about carpet. While in the store, the salesman showed us a few different carpets. Besides the colour, the textures all looked the same, and it wasn’t until we touched them that they felt different, some harder and some softer.

As we’re touching the woollen carpet the salesman explained, “This is obviously the best quality carpet because it’s durable, it has extra loops bla bla bla”. Now tell me, how is that obvious?

Between you and I, the wool felt the worst. It was stiff, unwelcoming and sandpaper-ish on the skin — how terrible would that feel on the naked foot — free exfoliation though. OMG, just got a germ freak thought, imagine all the exfoliated skin on the carpet. Yikes, grose!! I’d need to hire a cleaner — actually I should do that regardless — who has time to clean?

So, not only is the woollen carpet the most expensive, it’s hard and awful to touch, me thinks walking barefoot on burning coals would be more comfortable. If it’s as durable as the salesman says, maybe it should have been used to lay down the Tulla freeway, probably cheaper for tax payers.

So do you get me, obvious was obviously used willy nilly. I don’t think it’s fair for an expert in a certain field to use obvious for anything. That’s like me telling a stranger to read my blog because it will obviously be the funniest blog he’ll ever read.

I often tell boofy, I’m obviously the funniest wife in the world, while laughing at my own joke and him staring at me like a foreign object. I think I’m funny sometimes, usually when I’m in a good mood, but how would a complete stranger get my humour?

Peeps, in my books the word obvious can only be used pragmatically. Burj Khalifa is obviously the tallest building — I think if my neck is snapping back to look up, then it has to be obvious. The red pusy zit on your cheek is obviously the most distracting thing on your face because I can’t stop gawking at it. Or if all the flowers in my garden have died, then obviously when God was giving out gardening skills, I must have been at the pub.

Stay safe, be good.

You only live once, so make it a good one.

Ciao RJ

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.