Communication in Blended Families

V. Reality destroys expectations again

Welcome back to Stepfamily Communication School, where we’re all about setting expectations because, really, who needs mind-reading superpowers? If only we could all wear telepathic helmets and magically understand each other’s thoughts, right? Like we said, not a thing. (Unless you believe some of the better conspiracy theories.)

The Fantasy of Mind-Reading

We covered this before, but seriously, none of us have a crystal ball that reveals what’s on everyone’s minds. So, instead of hoping for mind-reading miracles, let’s be upfront about our expectations with the kids and our spouse.

Clear and Realistic Expectations

Communication expectations are like road signs on the highway of family life. They need to be clear, concise, and realistic. Setting the expectation that everyone must fold their socks in a perfect origami swan might be a tad too ambitious. Brush up on childhood development and have an honest talk with your partner.

Consistency is Key

Consistency is like the secret sauce to setting expectations. It’s about sticking to the plan and not veering off into the wilderness of unspoken assumptions. (Easily the biggest sticking point for me.) If you say I won’t be running forgotten stuff to school anymore, do not do it. If you and your spouse agree on expectations, then stick to them!

The Importance of Family Agreements

Think of family agreements as your superhero team charter. These are a set of rules and expectations agreed upon by everyone in the family. Think of it as your own Avengers Initiative without the costumes. Children should have an input, even from a young age. It teaches the valuable skill of, you guessed it, communicating their needs in a civil way.

Flexibility (Because Life Throws Curveballs)

While setting expectations is essential, so is flexibility. Sometimes life throws curveballs that no one saw coming. It’s okay to adjust your expectations when necessary — just like a superhero adapting to a new supervillain. Sit down and re-evaluate if something isn’t working.

So, there you have it, folks — setting communication expectations in your stepfamily. It’s like creating a family playbook where everyone knows the game plan.

The Whole Series

Part One: Or the lack thereof
Part Two: Eavesdropping is a totally acceptable skill
Part Three: Because who needs drama?
Part Four: Can’t I mutate and have telepathy?
Part Five: Reality destroys expectation
Part Six: The dreaded leviathan of family discussions</a>
Part Seven: This is not a reality show
Part Eight: It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it