The In-Between Moments

I was watching home movies my dad had taken of my sister and I playing volleyball this past weekend. Sitting on the couch laughing about our teammates horrible form made me think of a very vivid memory — possibly my favorite volleyball memory. We were in Orlando playing in a tournament and my sister and I warming up between games. We were playing a team from Puerto Rico and we must have been 13 or 14 years old. I remember laughing and hitting balls as hard as we could at each other. We were never a winning team (we won some games here and there, ok?) — if I were to guess we probably lost 3/4 of the games we played all week. But in that moment it wasn’t about winning. It was about playing a sport I loved with my sister. To tell the truth, I don’t remember much about that tournament other than this moment, and that’s what got me thinking. Why do random moments like this stick out in our heads? What is going on that encodes these particular moments into our brains? Millions of moments make up a lifetime, but why does it seem that you only remember the ones that seemed unmemorable at the time?

So I started thinking about other small fragments of my life that had somehow stuck with me for all these years. Everything that came to mind was similar — unplanned, spontaneous, and feelings of pure happiness. Singing along to Hairspray in my friends dorm room. Interpretive dancing with my roommate in our college apartment living room. Spending days after school slipping around on the patch of ice in our driveway instead of doing homework. Walking to class on a foggy day when I was studying abroad in London. Dancing in the basement to “Who Let the Dogs Out” on our Pocahontas sleeping bags. Spending days after school slipping around on the patch of ice in our driveway instead of doing homework. These are the in-between moments. The small moments that happen in between the big ones like birthdays, holidays, and special occasions. Big moments stick out in our head because they have outward significance. Think of New Years Eve — a night that (in my experience) never lives up to expectations. Its a night that you think will be a big moment, but you never seem to remember it being anything out of the ordinary. The little moments, like the one I have of my sister and I playing volleyball, are intrinsically significant. The moment in and of itself is important enough for you to remember exactly how you felt at that time. Intrinsic significance is the reason why we remember all the names of our stuffed animals, but can’t seem to recall what we had for dinner last week.

The nights and days you set out to make memories of are always the ones you forget a few years down the line. Live your life for the in-between moments. Those moments are the best memories I’ve got. It’s a reminder to realize that every moment has the potential to be the best moment of your life.