Your fat friend doesn’t feel fat.
Your Fat Friend

While I agree it’s critical to think about who you’re speaking with when you share these types of feelings. And you articulated this point very well. I also have a contradictory view. I have been relatively ‘thin’ all of my life — and it isn’t natural. Looking at my mother and sisters, you’d see that I work for it. I stay active, make good nutritious choices and try to instill those into my children, and I think about it often. While I don’t have the extra weight on the outside, giving me the social right to say, I feel fat, sometimes I just do. And yet, I’m not allowed to say it for fear of hurting somebody else’s feelings. But, what about my feelings? Why should I always feel guilty for expressing my innermost struggles and fears, just because they aren’t, from other people’s viewpoints, visible from the outside. I don’t judge friends for being above the ‘socially-charged desirable weight’, so why should I be judged for being that weight, but still feel ‘gross’ when I gain 5 pounds. It may not be obvious to others, but to me it feels like I’m carrying around 500 donuts that I didn’t allow myself to eat. So, on top of feeling frumpy and gross on those days or weeks, why do I also need to feel guilty for the very fact of feeling frumpy of gross.

I understand and, to a point, agree with your position. I just want to share another point of view.

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