One Life Lesson I Learnt The Hard Way

One of the biggest lessons I have learnt in life, is to put my agenda first.

It may make me sound selfish or greedy or whatever but I wasted a heckuva lot of time trying so very hard to please everyone and all it got me was…nothing except bankruptcy and depression.

I have always been one with dreams, big dreams of things that I wanted to do with my life. However, I kept putting them on the back-burner because of fear, because of conditioning and because I wanted people to like me. I also had this idea in the back of my head that if I helped enough people with their own agenda then I would get mine, finally.

True… kinda

I do believe that the more people you serve, the more money and whatever you want, you make…

However, this must be done intentionally. I was simply trying to please people and run away from the fear of doing my own thing and so I got nothing, except wasted time and effort and money.

There is, of course, a way to focus on your own agenda while helping others and for a lot of people, including myself, their agenda is to make a difference to people in some way. The problem arises when you are more concerned about how you come across to people rather than whether you are actually making a difference in the way you envisage.

The problem also arises when your need to look like a good person means that you are too scared to ask people to pay for the work you do for them. And it still all comes down to wanting to come across well.

In short, people pleasing.

Yep, I will be honest and say that people pleasing has caused me to waste a lot of time and energy not getting where I want to go. And to this day, I have to check myself.

“Rosemary, why are you not taking that action that you know you need to take?

Is it because you are worried about what someone you don’t even know, will think of you?

STOP IT!

Get to work!”

And so the dialogue goes in my mind.

As human beings, we are conditioned to want to be part of teh ‘tribe’, we want to belong and some times that means we do things that diminish us in order that we get everyone to like us.

It is not always conscious and for the most part, most people will say that they are not subject to the pain of people pleasing but if they are truly honest, they spend a lot of time wondering how they are coming across and if they are putting their best foot forward or not.

And that stifles creativity

That stifles adventure

That stifles the ability to try new things

Which all then stifles the ability to live life abundantly.

Take an honest look at your life…

And ask some fierce questions..

How much of what you do, is simply to appease some person or the other?

How much of what you do is simply because it is expected of you?

How much do you NOT do because you are worried about what others will think of you, for doing it?

How much of your life is being held back for this reason?

And if you are spiritual, is your conditioning also making you extend this need to please to your Higher Power as well? How much do you hold back from doing because somehow you got the idea in your mind that your Higher Power would disapprove and potentially send a lightning bolt down to strike you dead in the moment that you even think of doing the thing that you want to do?

Exaggerated, perhaps but take a moment to think of that.

Who are you trying to please? And at what expense to your time, energy, money?

Is this how you want your life to play out?

It took me almost 3 decades to break free and I still have to work on it — How much time will it take you before you realise that this is potentially your ONE LIFE and unless you choose to live it with abundance, following your own agenda and your own dreams, it will be over before you know it and all you will have at the end is regrets?!

Do not let that be your story!

Start the business

Buy the shoes

Serve the people you feel called to serve in the way that you want to do it

Stop caring so much what people think

Break free of the box

LIVE YOUR LIFE!

And if you struggle to be free and you are entrepreneurially minded or have books, music, art you would like to put out into the marketplace, I am giving away my Amazon Bestseller — The Deliberate Millionaire Freedom Book — Download A FREE Digital Copy Here

Enjoy!

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Rosemary Nonny Knight

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