Wellness is empowering

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AdobeStock_302459815. (BullRun)

Try sitting still in silence and counting backward from 100 to 1. The simplest task is a challenge for a cluttered mind. It should take about a minute and a half, but the mind experiences time much slower when stillness is not an established routine. Silently counting is a mindless task unappreciated by the busy mind.

The over-reliance on external stimuli can be a response to emotional stress. While stress is a normal part of our lives, prolonged stress is a threat to optimal living. …


And the one that builds

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AdobeStock_179077120.jpeg ( zinkevych)

Like many survivors of childhood trauma, developing high-quality relationships was my nemesis. Relationships are where many survivors express their dysfunction while being great at everything else in their lives. I was no different.

Fear of abandonment often produces behaviors that create abandonment. The need for approval attracts highly critical partners. The desire for control results in high conflict that leaves you feeling powerless. One or more of these relationship destroyers arise with frequency for most survivors.

You Are Who You Love

Many survivors enter the healing journey based on relationship fatigue. We get tired of “getting it wrong,” whether with our spouses, children, friends, or co-workers. …


The big bad wolf within

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AdobeStock_377196479(ehrlif)

When the big bad wolf bangs on my door

Huffing and puffing to blow my house down

I’m going to fight, I’m not going to hide

I wish the wolf would come inside

Bring the whole pack I still won’t retreat

Every one of them I will defeat

Not even a werewolf could change my destiny

But what if the big bad wolf is me?

What if I am the wolf in sheep’s clothes

Does it matter if I’m the only one who knows

What if I devour my own house

Because I insist on sharing my cheese with the…


You are who you vote for

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AdobeStock_236242476.jpeg (Rawpixel.com)

If you want to know why diversity efforts are failing, we need only to look at election results. Even if I concede that Trump is right for the economy, I must believe that money matters above all else. Of course, it does. This is the United States.

But you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t maintain happy, positive relationships with the people whose interests you vote against. Don’t expect your employees, members, or friends to believe you when you say you are interested in equity.

“It’s not whether you win or lose. It’s how you play the game.” We used to say that. But that’s one rule the United States has never played by. Everything good that has come to the United States has been achieved by cheating and killing, starting with the S-word. We would not be the United States we are today without slavery. …


Make healing familiar

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AdobeStock_366335255.jpeg (Bob)

I am one of 60 million adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. The difference between me and most others is that I live openly, while most survivors live in secret. I lived in silence too for forty years, hiding instead of healing.

According to journals, books, and professional blogs, survivors are stifled by their sense of guilt and shame. While most of us experience those emotions to varying degrees, my ten years of working with survivors tell a different story.

The mind’s preference for the familiar is counter-productive to healing.

Most survivors can work through guilt and shame, given adequate information, and affirmation support. However, even in the absence of guilt and shame, healing can feel like hell. It could be descriptively referred to as the “helling” process. A critical mental process distorts the healing journey and makes thriving appear impossible. …


Take good care

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AdobeStock_72390883.jpeg (rocketclips)

Taking care of yourself is the greatest love you can show to others. Where love requires sacrifice and compromise of time, energy, and resources, it doesn’t require selflessness. Sacrificing self-care and joy should not be on the menu for love.

People often neglect their physical and mental needs to contribute to someone else’s quality of life. Many people make unhealthy sacrifices for their families, employers, or social groups in ways that leave them too depleted for self-care.

Every year people renew, then break, their promise to take better care of themselves. …


What language would you speak?

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AdobeStock_250619744.jpeg (yossarian6)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But what if you only had a thousand words left to say? Would you choose your words more carefully to draw the most beautiful picture your heart could convey?

I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive. Sometimes just three syllables are all that need to be heard. So what would you do with the rest of your words?

I believe generation Z would just send texts with emojis to try to cheat, or take long naps to deliver messages in their sleep. They would use smiley, winking, and kissing faces, to explain the YOLO life without voice or paper. Give them a thousand words and they will give you change. …


Life is optimum at sea level

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AdobeStock_131790683.jpeg (inzilo)

I said a bittersweet goodbye to Colorado Springs last month after a four-year love-hate relationship. I am grateful for the time I got to play in the mountains with my family and hiking buddies.

Snowball fights in shorts always made my heart smile. Day or weekend trips to the Rocky Mountain National Park, Vail, Denver, or Breckenridge were a welcomed consolation to the frequent hailstorms. The dry air made hairstyling easier and prettier.

Being High and Performing Low

I moved to Colorado Springs in 2016. It’s located approximately 80 miles south of Denver, which is affectionately known as the mile-high city. …


When was the last time you asked a good question?

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AdobeStock_118611347.jpeg (Stepan Popov)

Why is loving a God you have never seen easier than loving someone you see as different than you? Why are we more willing to accept a survival of the fittest belief than build cooperation with one another beyond survival? These are not rhetorical questions. They are critical ones.

The answers we get in life are only as good as the questions we ask. When was the last time you asked a good question instead of defending the answers you think you already know? Arrogance asks questions of others. Wisdom asks questions of ourselves. …


It was love at first write

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Rosenna Bakari with audience

I had known her all my life, yet we felt like strangers. I knew her passion for truth had been obstructed since youth, with voices not her own. They were void of value, antithetical to health, and perverse to the human spirit. They spoke only to the fear created in her by pressing down her body while taking hostage our mind.

At the age of seven, we went our separate ways. By we, I mean my mind, spirit, and body. The brain is complex and very capable of living three separate lives (or lies) at once.

Elders prayed over me to negotiate my release. But forgiveness of my debtor seemed only to suffocate me and exacerbate self-hate. I gave birth to inner demons that I was smart enough to disguise. Surely retarded on the inside, but I appeared externally wise. …

About

Rosennab

Writing to change the world one story at a time. Author/Poet/Public Speaker. Learn more at http://Rosennabakari.com

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